The Agony of Elsa

Ever since I started the narration of Elsa's sad life, never was there really a time when I felt that I was truly appreciative of the Grown-Ups! I can enumerate several reasons why this is so, and I could always justify - a million times over - why I feel unappreciative of them!

As I have said in The Sorrowful Salutation: "I have been with the sad company of the Grown-ups, and I know how they think! I know how they look at things!" I also know how they say one thing but mean the complete opposite! For instance, when a Grown-Up says: "You look really beautiful." what he or she actually meant with that is: "You could actually look better if you had your hair done this or that way."

Grown-Ups are dishonest, impatient, insincere, cruel, ill tempered, materialistic, opportunist, manipulative, evil, sinister, and... I could actually go on forever listing down all the bad things about them if only the chance permits!

But, in the spirit of fairness, allow me to also say that: "There is always an exemption to the rule." In every 9 million Grown-Ups there would be 1 who is different! Someone who - because of age has learned to be - patient, sincere, kind, helpful, and lenient! Minerva Jalova, the Librarian of St. John's Academy is 1 in the 9 million.

Minerva Jalova - allow me to say - was once a Student Leader in her youth. She once rallied the streets of Mendiola for a cause! She once marched the streets of Makati and Katipunan with other Student Activists for Freedom, Equality, Women's and Children's Rights, and No Tuition Fee Hike. Minerva Jalova was a Graduate of The University of the Philippines with a course in Library Science. She graduated with Honors. And believe me when I say that there is a lot of good things about Minerva Jalova! Behind the stiff and conservative looking wardrobe is a very nice person! I promise that you'll get to know Minerva Jalova - the Lenient Librarian - a lot better as I go on with my actual narration of Elsa's very sad life in this Episode.

Allow me, at this point, to pick up from the last part of the episode entitled: The Pinheaded Principal. The part when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal appeared in the School Canteen where a melee was going on and approached Elsa, who was at that time being accused by the Groveling Guard of committing Violation Number 6: Estafa.

Now upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal say: "Definitely! Hey you! The only one of you! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right Now!", the Groveling Guard quickly grabbed Elsa and dragged the Simple Schoolgirl to the Principal's office. While Omario Bulatao walked away and tagging Elsa along with him, the Canteen Manager and the Canteen Cashier continued hurling unwashed plates, spoons, forks, water glasses and pitchers while repeatedly calling Elsa: "Ugly, stupid, poor!"

Inside the Principal's Office, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal - upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who at that time was disguised as a shadow - violently tied Elsa's hands with blue colored nylon cord and covered Elsa's mouth with a locally bought packaging tape. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then said: "Definitely! You bald girl is very bad! You already have six violations in my prestigious school! What is your reason? Answer me in simple English only!" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal waited for an answer but Elsa could not give her reasons because her mouth was covered with packaging tape. When Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did not hear Elsa speak she then said: "Definitely! Are you deaf? Did you hear me? Why did you not answer me in simple English only? Are you making me angry? Now, answer me! Why do you keep making violations in my prestigious school"? Again, Elsa could not speak, she could also not make gestures as her hands were tied up. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then got very furious and she said: "Definitely! You are making me more angry! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right now!"

Again, upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal said: "I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right now!" the Groveling Guard, who was at that time still inside the Principla's office, immediately ran to the classroom of the Terrible Teacher to relay what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just said. It was the Terrible Teacher who then immediately ran to the Gotohan of the Misinformed Master to tell Mang Joey that Elsa committed Violation Number 6: Estafa and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal wants to meet Elsa's parents. Mang Joey, the Misinformed Master believing that Elsa was already an orphan decided to close the Gotohan and then proceeded to the Principal's office.

Back in the Principal's Office, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal - upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who was at that time still disguised as a shadow - said: "Definitely! You are not the Parents tomorrow right now of this bald girl who is very bad! You are Mang Joey the owner of the Gotohan which is located near my prestigious school! Why did you come here?" Mang Joey replied: "I'm very sorry, but Elsa is already an Orphan and since she works for me, please allow me to be her guardian." Elsa heard Mang Joey and she wanted to explain that she is not yet a complete orphan. But Elsa could not speak as her mouth was still covered with packaging tape. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal upon hearing what Mang Joey said, replied: "Definitely! Sure why not? Now I am warning you that if Elsa commits 2 more violations in my prestigious school, I will expel her! Do you understand me?" Mang Joey simply answered: "Yes, Miss Hampto. And I am very sorry." Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal still upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who was at that time still disguised as a shadow then said: "Definitely! I forgive you but I will not yet forgive Elsa! I will punish her again! She will now be assigned as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library! Do you understand?" Mang Joey simply said: "Yes, Miss Hampto."

Now it was because of the said punishment that Elsa, the Simple schoolgirl met Minerva Jalova, the Lenient Librarian. The next week immediately after the Canteen incident, Elsa was to start reporting to the Linient Librarian named Minerva Jalova. Elsa was assigned to clean the Library from start of classes until dismissal and the said punishment will be effective for a whole week! This simply means that Elsa was not to attend classes again!

Anyway before I go on, allow me to tell you that because of the new punishment on Elsa, the Terrible Teacher, the Brattish Bully, the Contemptible Classmates, the Groveling Guard, and the Pinheaded Principal along with her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan were all very happy! The Terrible Teacher was happy because, without Elsa in her class, she could now ask all her students to give her gifts! The Brattish Bully was happy because she could take a rest from her evil antics! The Contemptible Classmates were happy because they too could take a rest from following Ely Rose Apple's evil schemes on Elsa! The Groveling Guard was happy because he could concentrate on roving the school grounds without thinking of new violations that he could accuse Elsa of. And the Pinheaded Principal, along with her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan, was very happy because she felt that she has done a good job in making sure that her prestigious school was properly managed!

The Misinformed Master though, unlike the other characters that I have already mentioned in the sentence above, was not really very happy with the new punishment on Elsa. He was not very happy because he felt very sad for Elsa. He was not very happy because he felt that the punishment was way too harsh. He was not very happy because he thought that Elsa would grow very exhausted by cleaning the Library from start of classes until dismissal time. This means that by the time that Elsa would be working at his Gotohan in the graveyard shift, the Simple Schoolgirl may already be too tired to be able work as well as she use to. This thought really saddened Mang Joey a lot! Allow me now to say that: "Mang Joey is really a very kind man, and his only flaw is that he loves money a lot!" This means that, if Elsa wont work as well as she use to, the Gotohan might loose part of its earnings!

Anyway, going back to the story. On Elsa's first day as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library, she was very nervous! Elsa was very worried because she thought that Minerva Jalova might hurt her too. Elsa was very tense because she thought that Minerva Jalova might throw and hit her with heavy books. Elsa was very anxious because she thought that Minerva Jalova might call her stupid, ugly, and poor. But, Elsa's fears all vanished when Minerva Jalova spoke to her.

On Elsa's first day as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library, Minerva Jalova invited Elsa in her office and talked to Elsa very kindly and told the Simple Schoolgirl: "Good Morning Elsa. I already heard about your story. I was told why you were sent here. And I was also told that you were assigned as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library for a week. Now, please don't be frightened and don't worry. I know Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto very well. And I have to be honest with you. I don't really agree with her. I don't think you deserve this punishment. But what can we both do? Let us just let her be. Just report here everyday. You don't have to do all the job here. I'll also ask your classmates to lend you their notebooks so that you could also catch up on your lessons. Please don't hesitate to tell me what else you need, okay?"

Upon hearing what Minerva Jalova just said, and upon realizing how kind Minerva Jalova is, Elsa's face brightened up! Elsa felt glad! Elsa was happy that after encountering several sinister characters in her stay at St. John's Academy, she finally met someone who seems really very accommodating, affable, affectionate, agreeable, altruistic, amiable, approachable, auspicious, beneficent, benevolent, charitable, commendable, compassionate, congenial, considerate, cordial, decent, estimable, excellent, fair, fine, forgiving, friendlike, friendly, generous, gentle, good, good-hearted, good-natured, good-tempered, goodly, gracious, helpful, humane, humanitarian, kindhearted, lenient, loving, merciful, nice, noble, openhearted, patient, sisterly, softhearted, sympathetic, tenderhearted, thoughtful, understanding, unhostile, unresentful, unrevengeful, very good, virtuous, warm, warm-hearted, warmhearted, well-intentioned, and well-meaning!

Now at this point of the story, allow me to say that Elsa was absolutely right when she thought that she finally found someone who is the complete opposite of all the other sinister characters that she has already met so far in St. John's Academy! Allow me to also tell you about Minerva Jalova's own encounter with Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. Telling you - my dear readers - of these details will make you understand why, on the 4th paragraph of this episode, I mentioned that Minerva Jalova is an exemption to the rule!

Let me begin with: "The Most Outstanding Teacher incident." Now you should know that every School Year, St. John's Academy gives out an award for The Most Outstanding Teacher. The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding should pass several criteria! The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding should be Kind, Intelligent, Hard Working, Approachable, Morally Upright, is active in Community Service, and is Well-Loved by his or her students! The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding will be given a cash prize, a salary increase, a golden trophy, a certificate of recognition, and a gift check worth 1,234.50 in Robinson's Department Store!

The previous winners of The Most Outstanding Teacher award were all very much deserving! The previous winners were all very Kind, Intelligent, Hard Working, Approachable, is Morally Upright, is active in Community Service, and is Well-Loved by his or her students! So, everyone in school was expecting for someone no less! At the beginning of the School Year, teachers of St. John's Academy were already rooting for Mrs. Remedios Purificasion as the recipient of the Most Outstanding Teacher award! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion has been with St. John's Academy for a long time! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion is well loved not only by her students but by all her co teachers as well! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion has all the qualifications for being The Most Outstanding Teacher. However, when Mrs. Clarita D. Castor moved to St. John's Academy, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately wanted to declare the Terrible Teacher as the Most Outstanding Teacher.

Many teachers reacted to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's hasty and unfair decision and they demanded for an explanation. When Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal learned of the teacher's reaction, she called for a meeting. The meeting was to be held in the school library. Minerva Jalova, being part of the school management was also asked to be present during the meeting. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, with the help of her tutor, Mrs Lucy Fernan, prepared for the meeting.

On the day of the meeting, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal arrogantly delivered her prepared speech. Her tutor, Mrs. Lucy Fernan was also present during the meeting - she was disguised as an Artificial Flower on a vase! The bottom line of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's 2 hours and 45 minute speech is that: Mrs. Clarita D. Castor is very much deserving of the award as The Most Outstanding Teacher simply because: "They are friends!"

At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal thought that she did very well with her speech and that the teachers wont be asking any question. But when the teachers started questioning her if her basis has logic, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to panic. She panicked because her tutor can't coach her since she was disguised as an Artificial Flower on a vase. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just stared blankly at the teachers. The teachers waited for an answer but Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just stood there infront of the teachers without saying anything! The teachers started to get impatient.

Minerva Jalova, seeing that the teachers were starting to get really exasperated and sensing that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was lost for words again, immediately stood up and calmly repeated the teacher's question to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. But when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal heard Minerva Jalova repeat the question, she took offense, pinpointed, and screamed at Minerva Jalova saying: "Definitely! You are a very bad Librarian! You are not the Principal of this prestigious school! You are only the very bad Librarian! You should ask me question in simple English only! I will not answer the question because I am tired!" After saying this, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal walked out from the Library carrying with her the flower vase.

Minerva Jalova was left with the teachers. Minerva Jalova kept her cool. Minerva Jalova knew that reacting on what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did to her would only stir more chaos! Minerva Jalova, in her youth, has seen many leaders like Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. Minerva Jalova knew that leaders like Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal should be dealt with patience. And so, Minerva Jalova, after being treated badly by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, calmed herself and tried to pacify the teachers. Minerva Jalova promised the teachers that she will talk with Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal again and demand for a clear answer. The teachers of St. John's Academy listened to her. The teachers of St. John's Academy listened to Minerva Jalova because they respect her. The teachers of St. John's Academy respect Minerva Jalova because unlike Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she actually showed how a Grown-Up should conduct herself infront of other Grown-Ups!

Let me now tell you of the: "The Foreign Student incident"! Now it was actually the Second Quarter of the School Year and at the same time St. John's Academy's celebration of the English and Book week when this story took place! At that time, all the teaching and non teaching personnel of the school and students were in the school's gymnasium watching the oratorical contest when a foreign couple from New Castle in England named Mr. Stephen Sullivan and Mrs. Beth Sullivan along with their son named Lee Sullivan went to St. John's Academy. The British couple are considering St. John's Academy as the new school of their son Lee. The British Couple wanted to gauge the school first and wanted to speak with someone from the school administration. Now since everyone is in the school gymnasium, it was only Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal who was available to speak to the British couple.

At first, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was very excited to meet with the British couple. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was also very excited on the thought of having a foreign student in her prestigious school. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal tidied up her office before meeting with the British couple. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal also brushed her teeth so that she'll have fresh breath. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was in the act of ordering her tutor, who at that time was disguised as a picture frame on the wall, to turn into a shadow when the British couple suddenly entered her office. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was left without a choice but to smile and offer the British couple a seat. But as the British couple take their seat, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to get really very nervous because her tutor was still disguised as a picture frame hanging on the wall!

The British couple smiled at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal and then told her how impress they are at the tidiness of the school. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal smiled back and nodded her head as a response. But the truth is, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was already struggling to understand the accent. The British couple, in an authentic British accent, then said: "Hiya! now what it is, we are considering of enrolling our son here named Lee in your stupendous school! We see that everything seem spot on! However, there are some things that we would like to be assured of. Is it okay if we ask several questions about your school?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got really nervous but, in a stammering voice, still managed to say: "Definitely!"

The British couple were very glad at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's response and so they went on to ask: "Do you offer extra curricular activities to students so that they'll learn how to hone their individual talents and skill?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal answered: "Definitely!" The British couple looked at each other smiled and nodded their head as if to show that the are impressed! The British couple then continued to ask: "Do you have highly qualified teachers who are ready to respond to the challenges of various students with multiple intelligence and who would make sure that students are given proper training and would acknowledge individual differences?" At this point, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to get really nervous. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to perspire! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was hoping that she had her tutor with her. But, even if Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal didn't fully understand what the British couple just asked her, she still managed to say: "Definitely"!

The British couple looked at each other. They seemed unconvinced. They sensed something wrong. They were not sure however what it was. Then they continued to ask: "Could you please tell us how you deal with students who are misbehaving?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, immediately answered: "Definitely!" The British couple nodded in responce and waited for Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal to expound on her answer but Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal remained quiet and was obviously very jittery and was perspiring profusely! The British couple then said: "So, Can you tell us how?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's nose started to bleed but she still managed to say: "Definitely!" The British couple noticed that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's nose was already bleeding and they got very concerned and so they asked: "Are you okay?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal replied: "Definitely!" The British couple looked at each other and got very scared, and so they said: "You don't seem okay! Are you sick?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal replied: "Definitely!" The British couple were taken aback! Then they asked: "Do you have AH1N1 or Swine Flu Virus?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal answered: "Definitely!" The British couple turned pale with shock, panicked and hurriedly ran out of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal office!

While the British couple ran away, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was left wondering why the British couple ran away from her. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was infact clueless why the British couple hurriedly left. It was her tutor Mrs. Lucy Fernan, who has at this point turned into a shadow, who told her that the reason why the British couple ran away from her was because the foreign couple finds her face horrible! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately believed Mrs. Lucy Fernan! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did not even suspect that it was her answers and her bleeding nose that frightened the British couple!

Mrs. Lucy Fernan went on to tell Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal that the British couple does not like talking with her because her breath stinks! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal right away believed her tutor. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got very mad and so she hurriedly went to the school gymnasium where a program for the English and Book Week was being held. Upon entering the School Gymnasium, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started hearing everyone speaking in English. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal nose started to bleed again! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then ascended the stage and grabbed the microphone from the emcee of the program! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, upon the coaching of her tutor who was at that time disguised as a shadow, then said: "Definitely! Hey you! The all of you! I am the very good Principal of this prestigious school! I will declare that no more school program from now on! No more English and Book week, no more United Nations Day, no more Nutrition month, no more Intramural, no more Acquaintance Party, and no more JS Prom! I will allow only Graduation Day and Linggo ng Wika! Stop this program! The all of you, go back to your classroom immediately, right now!"

All the teachers were shocked at what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just did and said! The students were unhappy with what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just declared! The students started booing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Some students threw crumpled papers to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately left the school gymnasium! Miverva Jalova, who was the chairperson of the English and Book week took the microphone and calmly addressed the audience saying: "Dear Teachers and Dear Students, I need your attention please." The audience, upon hearing Minerva Jalova started to quiet down and listened. Minerva Jalova then said: "I know you are all very upset at what you just heard. But I'm sure our Principal has a reason why she said those. May I please ask all of you to just relax and I will speak with the Principal. I will also ask her if she could allow us to have other school programs and activities. Now, Dear Teachers kindly escort your students back to your classrooms and for the meantime resume your classes while I speak with our Principal."

The teachers of St. John's Academy listened and followed Minerva Jalova. The Teachers asked their students to line up and proceed back to their classroom. The students quietly formed a line and headed back to their classroom. The students did not react violently at the orders of Minerva Jalova. The students wholeheartedly obeyed Minerva Jalova. The students of St. John's Academy obeyed Minerva Jalova because they could feel that Minerva Jalova meant well. The students of St. John's Academy respects Minerva Jalova. The students of St. John's Academy looks up to Minerva Jalova because unlike Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she actually showed how a Grown-Up should conduct herself infront of other Grown-Ups and most specially infront of the young ones!