The Agony of Elsa

Ever since I started the narration of Elsa's sad life, never was there really a time when I felt that I was truly appreciative of the Grown-Ups! I can enumerate several reasons why this is so, and I could always justify - a million times over - why I feel unappreciative of them!

As I have said in The Sorrowful Salutation: "I have been with the sad company of the Grown-ups, and I know how they think! I know how they look at things!" I also know how they say one thing but mean the complete opposite! For instance, when a Grown-Up says: "You look really beautiful." what he or she actually meant with that is: "You could actually look better if you had your hair done this or that way."

Grown-Ups are dishonest, impatient, insincere, cruel, ill tempered, materialistic, opportunist, manipulative, evil, sinister, and... I could actually go on forever listing down all the bad things about them if only the chance permits!

But, in the spirit of fairness, allow me to also say that: "There is always an exemption to the rule." In every 9 million Grown-Ups there would be 1 who is different! Someone who - because of age has learned to be - patient, sincere, kind, helpful, and lenient! Minerva Jalova, the Librarian of St. John's Academy is 1 in the 9 million.

Minerva Jalova - allow me to say - was once a Student Leader in her youth. She once rallied the streets of Mendiola for a cause! She once marched the streets of Makati and Katipunan with other Student Activists for Freedom, Equality, Women's and Children's Rights, and No Tuition Fee Hike. Minerva Jalova was a Graduate of The University of the Philippines with a course in Library Science. She graduated with Honors. And believe me when I say that there is a lot of good things about Minerva Jalova! Behind the stiff and conservative looking wardrobe is a very nice person! I promise that you'll get to know Minerva Jalova - the Lenient Librarian - a lot better as I go on with my actual narration of Elsa's very sad life in this Episode.

Allow me, at this point, to pick up from the last part of the episode entitled: The Pinheaded Principal. The part when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal appeared in the School Canteen where a melee was going on and approached Elsa, who was at that time being accused by the Groveling Guard of committing Violation Number 6: Estafa.

Now upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal say: "Definitely! Hey you! The only one of you! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right Now!", the Groveling Guard quickly grabbed Elsa and dragged the Simple Schoolgirl to the Principal's office. While Omario Bulatao walked away and tagging Elsa along with him, the Canteen Manager and the Canteen Cashier continued hurling unwashed plates, spoons, forks, water glasses and pitchers while repeatedly calling Elsa: "Ugly, stupid, poor!"

Inside the Principal's Office, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal - upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who at that time was disguised as a shadow - violently tied Elsa's hands with blue colored nylon cord and covered Elsa's mouth with a locally bought packaging tape. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then said: "Definitely! You bald girl is very bad! You already have six violations in my prestigious school! What is your reason? Answer me in simple English only!" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal waited for an answer but Elsa could not give her reasons because her mouth was covered with packaging tape. When Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did not hear Elsa speak she then said: "Definitely! Are you deaf? Did you hear me? Why did you not answer me in simple English only? Are you making me angry? Now, answer me! Why do you keep making violations in my prestigious school"? Again, Elsa could not speak, she could also not make gestures as her hands were tied up. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then got very furious and she said: "Definitely! You are making me more angry! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right now!"

Again, upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal said: "I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right now!" the Groveling Guard, who was at that time still inside the Principla's office, immediately ran to the classroom of the Terrible Teacher to relay what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just said. It was the Terrible Teacher who then immediately ran to the Gotohan of the Misinformed Master to tell Mang Joey that Elsa committed Violation Number 6: Estafa and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal wants to meet Elsa's parents. Mang Joey, the Misinformed Master believing that Elsa was already an orphan decided to close the Gotohan and then proceeded to the Principal's office.

Back in the Principal's Office, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal - upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who was at that time still disguised as a shadow - said: "Definitely! You are not the Parents tomorrow right now of this bald girl who is very bad! You are Mang Joey the owner of the Gotohan which is located near my prestigious school! Why did you come here?" Mang Joey replied: "I'm very sorry, but Elsa is already an Orphan and since she works for me, please allow me to be her guardian." Elsa heard Mang Joey and she wanted to explain that she is not yet a complete orphan. But Elsa could not speak as her mouth was still covered with packaging tape. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal upon hearing what Mang Joey said, replied: "Definitely! Sure why not? Now I am warning you that if Elsa commits 2 more violations in my prestigious school, I will expel her! Do you understand me?" Mang Joey simply answered: "Yes, Miss Hampto. And I am very sorry." Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal still upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who was at that time still disguised as a shadow then said: "Definitely! I forgive you but I will not yet forgive Elsa! I will punish her again! She will now be assigned as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library! Do you understand?" Mang Joey simply said: "Yes, Miss Hampto."

Now it was because of the said punishment that Elsa, the Simple schoolgirl met Minerva Jalova, the Lenient Librarian. The next week immediately after the Canteen incident, Elsa was to start reporting to the Linient Librarian named Minerva Jalova. Elsa was assigned to clean the Library from start of classes until dismissal and the said punishment will be effective for a whole week! This simply means that Elsa was not to attend classes again!

Anyway before I go on, allow me to tell you that because of the new punishment on Elsa, the Terrible Teacher, the Brattish Bully, the Contemptible Classmates, the Groveling Guard, and the Pinheaded Principal along with her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan were all very happy! The Terrible Teacher was happy because, without Elsa in her class, she could now ask all her students to give her gifts! The Brattish Bully was happy because she could take a rest from her evil antics! The Contemptible Classmates were happy because they too could take a rest from following Ely Rose Apple's evil schemes on Elsa! The Groveling Guard was happy because he could concentrate on roving the school grounds without thinking of new violations that he could accuse Elsa of. And the Pinheaded Principal, along with her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan, was very happy because she felt that she has done a good job in making sure that her prestigious school was properly managed!

The Misinformed Master though, unlike the other characters that I have already mentioned in the sentence above, was not really very happy with the new punishment on Elsa. He was not very happy because he felt very sad for Elsa. He was not very happy because he felt that the punishment was way too harsh. He was not very happy because he thought that Elsa would grow very exhausted by cleaning the Library from start of classes until dismissal time. This means that by the time that Elsa would be working at his Gotohan in the graveyard shift, the Simple Schoolgirl may already be too tired to be able work as well as she use to. This thought really saddened Mang Joey a lot! Allow me now to say that: "Mang Joey is really a very kind man, and his only flaw is that he loves money a lot!" This means that, if Elsa wont work as well as she use to, the Gotohan might loose part of its earnings!

Anyway, going back to the story. On Elsa's first day as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library, she was very nervous! Elsa was very worried because she thought that Minerva Jalova might hurt her too. Elsa was very tense because she thought that Minerva Jalova might throw and hit her with heavy books. Elsa was very anxious because she thought that Minerva Jalova might call her stupid, ugly, and poor. But, Elsa's fears all vanished when Minerva Jalova spoke to her.

On Elsa's first day as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library, Minerva Jalova invited Elsa in her office and talked to Elsa very kindly and told the Simple Schoolgirl: "Good Morning Elsa. I already heard about your story. I was told why you were sent here. And I was also told that you were assigned as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library for a week. Now, please don't be frightened and don't worry. I know Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto very well. And I have to be honest with you. I don't really agree with her. I don't think you deserve this punishment. But what can we both do? Let us just let her be. Just report here everyday. You don't have to do all the job here. I'll also ask your classmates to lend you their notebooks so that you could also catch up on your lessons. Please don't hesitate to tell me what else you need, okay?"

Upon hearing what Minerva Jalova just said, and upon realizing how kind Minerva Jalova is, Elsa's face brightened up! Elsa felt glad! Elsa was happy that after encountering several sinister characters in her stay at St. John's Academy, she finally met someone who seems really very accommodating, affable, affectionate, agreeable, altruistic, amiable, approachable, auspicious, beneficent, benevolent, charitable, commendable, compassionate, congenial, considerate, cordial, decent, estimable, excellent, fair, fine, forgiving, friendlike, friendly, generous, gentle, good, good-hearted, good-natured, good-tempered, goodly, gracious, helpful, humane, humanitarian, kindhearted, lenient, loving, merciful, nice, noble, openhearted, patient, sisterly, softhearted, sympathetic, tenderhearted, thoughtful, understanding, unhostile, unresentful, unrevengeful, very good, virtuous, warm, warm-hearted, warmhearted, well-intentioned, and well-meaning!

Now at this point of the story, allow me to say that Elsa was absolutely right when she thought that she finally found someone who is the complete opposite of all the other sinister characters that she has already met so far in St. John's Academy! Allow me to also tell you about Minerva Jalova's own encounter with Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. Telling you - my dear readers - of these details will make you understand why, on the 4th paragraph of this episode, I mentioned that Minerva Jalova is an exemption to the rule!

Let me begin with: "The Most Outstanding Teacher incident." Now you should know that every School Year, St. John's Academy gives out an award for The Most Outstanding Teacher. The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding should pass several criteria! The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding should be Kind, Intelligent, Hard Working, Approachable, Morally Upright, is active in Community Service, and is Well-Loved by his or her students! The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding will be given a cash prize, a salary increase, a golden trophy, a certificate of recognition, and a gift check worth 1,234.50 in Robinson's Department Store!

The previous winners of The Most Outstanding Teacher award were all very much deserving! The previous winners were all very Kind, Intelligent, Hard Working, Approachable, is Morally Upright, is active in Community Service, and is Well-Loved by his or her students! So, everyone in school was expecting for someone no less! At the beginning of the School Year, teachers of St. John's Academy were already rooting for Mrs. Remedios Purificasion as the recipient of the Most Outstanding Teacher award! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion has been with St. John's Academy for a long time! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion is well loved not only by her students but by all her co teachers as well! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion has all the qualifications for being The Most Outstanding Teacher. However, when Mrs. Clarita D. Castor moved to St. John's Academy, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately wanted to declare the Terrible Teacher as the Most Outstanding Teacher.

Many teachers reacted to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's hasty and unfair decision and they demanded for an explanation. When Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal learned of the teacher's reaction, she called for a meeting. The meeting was to be held in the school library. Minerva Jalova, being part of the school management was also asked to be present during the meeting. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, with the help of her tutor, Mrs Lucy Fernan, prepared for the meeting.

On the day of the meeting, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal arrogantly delivered her prepared speech. Her tutor, Mrs. Lucy Fernan was also present during the meeting - she was disguised as an Artificial Flower on a vase! The bottom line of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's 2 hours and 45 minute speech is that: Mrs. Clarita D. Castor is very much deserving of the award as The Most Outstanding Teacher simply because: "They are friends!"

At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal thought that she did very well with her speech and that the teachers wont be asking any question. But when the teachers started questioning her if her basis has logic, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to panic. She panicked because her tutor can't coach her since she was disguised as an Artificial Flower on a vase. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just stared blankly at the teachers. The teachers waited for an answer but Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just stood there infront of the teachers without saying anything! The teachers started to get impatient.

Minerva Jalova, seeing that the teachers were starting to get really exasperated and sensing that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was lost for words again, immediately stood up and calmly repeated the teacher's question to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. But when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal heard Minerva Jalova repeat the question, she took offense, pinpointed, and screamed at Minerva Jalova saying: "Definitely! You are a very bad Librarian! You are not the Principal of this prestigious school! You are only the very bad Librarian! You should ask me question in simple English only! I will not answer the question because I am tired!" After saying this, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal walked out from the Library carrying with her the flower vase.

Minerva Jalova was left with the teachers. Minerva Jalova kept her cool. Minerva Jalova knew that reacting on what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did to her would only stir more chaos! Minerva Jalova, in her youth, has seen many leaders like Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. Minerva Jalova knew that leaders like Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal should be dealt with patience. And so, Minerva Jalova, after being treated badly by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, calmed herself and tried to pacify the teachers. Minerva Jalova promised the teachers that she will talk with Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal again and demand for a clear answer. The teachers of St. John's Academy listened to her. The teachers of St. John's Academy listened to Minerva Jalova because they respect her. The teachers of St. John's Academy respect Minerva Jalova because unlike Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she actually showed how a Grown-Up should conduct herself infront of other Grown-Ups!

Let me now tell you of the: "The Foreign Student incident"! Now it was actually the Second Quarter of the School Year and at the same time St. John's Academy's celebration of the English and Book week when this story took place! At that time, all the teaching and non teaching personnel of the school and students were in the school's gymnasium watching the oratorical contest when a foreign couple from New Castle in England named Mr. Stephen Sullivan and Mrs. Beth Sullivan along with their son named Lee Sullivan went to St. John's Academy. The British couple are considering St. John's Academy as the new school of their son Lee. The British Couple wanted to gauge the school first and wanted to speak with someone from the school administration. Now since everyone is in the school gymnasium, it was only Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal who was available to speak to the British couple.

At first, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was very excited to meet with the British couple. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was also very excited on the thought of having a foreign student in her prestigious school. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal tidied up her office before meeting with the British couple. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal also brushed her teeth so that she'll have fresh breath. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was in the act of ordering her tutor, who at that time was disguised as a picture frame on the wall, to turn into a shadow when the British couple suddenly entered her office. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was left without a choice but to smile and offer the British couple a seat. But as the British couple take their seat, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to get really very nervous because her tutor was still disguised as a picture frame hanging on the wall!

The British couple smiled at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal and then told her how impress they are at the tidiness of the school. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal smiled back and nodded her head as a response. But the truth is, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was already struggling to understand the accent. The British couple, in an authentic British accent, then said: "Hiya! now what it is, we are considering of enrolling our son here named Lee in your stupendous school! We see that everything seem spot on! However, there are some things that we would like to be assured of. Is it okay if we ask several questions about your school?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got really nervous but, in a stammering voice, still managed to say: "Definitely!"

The British couple were very glad at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's response and so they went on to ask: "Do you offer extra curricular activities to students so that they'll learn how to hone their individual talents and skill?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal answered: "Definitely!" The British couple looked at each other smiled and nodded their head as if to show that the are impressed! The British couple then continued to ask: "Do you have highly qualified teachers who are ready to respond to the challenges of various students with multiple intelligence and who would make sure that students are given proper training and would acknowledge individual differences?" At this point, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to get really nervous. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to perspire! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was hoping that she had her tutor with her. But, even if Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal didn't fully understand what the British couple just asked her, she still managed to say: "Definitely"!

The British couple looked at each other. They seemed unconvinced. They sensed something wrong. They were not sure however what it was. Then they continued to ask: "Could you please tell us how you deal with students who are misbehaving?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, immediately answered: "Definitely!" The British couple nodded in responce and waited for Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal to expound on her answer but Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal remained quiet and was obviously very jittery and was perspiring profusely! The British couple then said: "So, Can you tell us how?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's nose started to bleed but she still managed to say: "Definitely!" The British couple noticed that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's nose was already bleeding and they got very concerned and so they asked: "Are you okay?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal replied: "Definitely!" The British couple looked at each other and got very scared, and so they said: "You don't seem okay! Are you sick?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal replied: "Definitely!" The British couple were taken aback! Then they asked: "Do you have AH1N1 or Swine Flu Virus?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal answered: "Definitely!" The British couple turned pale with shock, panicked and hurriedly ran out of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal office!

While the British couple ran away, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was left wondering why the British couple ran away from her. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was infact clueless why the British couple hurriedly left. It was her tutor Mrs. Lucy Fernan, who has at this point turned into a shadow, who told her that the reason why the British couple ran away from her was because the foreign couple finds her face horrible! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately believed Mrs. Lucy Fernan! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did not even suspect that it was her answers and her bleeding nose that frightened the British couple!

Mrs. Lucy Fernan went on to tell Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal that the British couple does not like talking with her because her breath stinks! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal right away believed her tutor. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got very mad and so she hurriedly went to the school gymnasium where a program for the English and Book Week was being held. Upon entering the School Gymnasium, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started hearing everyone speaking in English. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal nose started to bleed again! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then ascended the stage and grabbed the microphone from the emcee of the program! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, upon the coaching of her tutor who was at that time disguised as a shadow, then said: "Definitely! Hey you! The all of you! I am the very good Principal of this prestigious school! I will declare that no more school program from now on! No more English and Book week, no more United Nations Day, no more Nutrition month, no more Intramural, no more Acquaintance Party, and no more JS Prom! I will allow only Graduation Day and Linggo ng Wika! Stop this program! The all of you, go back to your classroom immediately, right now!"

All the teachers were shocked at what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just did and said! The students were unhappy with what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just declared! The students started booing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Some students threw crumpled papers to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately left the school gymnasium! Miverva Jalova, who was the chairperson of the English and Book week took the microphone and calmly addressed the audience saying: "Dear Teachers and Dear Students, I need your attention please." The audience, upon hearing Minerva Jalova started to quiet down and listened. Minerva Jalova then said: "I know you are all very upset at what you just heard. But I'm sure our Principal has a reason why she said those. May I please ask all of you to just relax and I will speak with the Principal. I will also ask her if she could allow us to have other school programs and activities. Now, Dear Teachers kindly escort your students back to your classrooms and for the meantime resume your classes while I speak with our Principal."

The teachers of St. John's Academy listened and followed Minerva Jalova. The Teachers asked their students to line up and proceed back to their classroom. The students quietly formed a line and headed back to their classroom. The students did not react violently at the orders of Minerva Jalova. The students wholeheartedly obeyed Minerva Jalova. The students of St. John's Academy obeyed Minerva Jalova because they could feel that Minerva Jalova meant well. The students of St. John's Academy respects Minerva Jalova. The students of St. John's Academy looks up to Minerva Jalova because unlike Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she actually showed how a Grown-Up should conduct herself infront of other Grown-Ups and most specially infront of the young ones!

If an award for "The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy" will someday ever be given, it will be wise that the Grown-Ups, who are known to have devised or formulated a scientific way on how to choose the best among a roster of already best, consider - without second thoughts - of awarding it to the School Principal of St. John's Academy named: Glenda Hampto!

Glenda Hampto deserves the award: "The Brightest School Principal in the entire World and its nearby Galaxy" for two reasons! Firstly because Glenda Hampto is undeniably very bright! Second and most importantly, Glenda loves wearing Safety Reflector Vest!

Now again, If you are a Grown-Up who finds my reasons for suggesting that the award for being "The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy" be given to Glenda Hampto really senseless, allow me to explain that the word BRIGHT in this episode is actually an adjective that means: "Light - characterized by or emitting light. Having lots of light either natural or artificial such as the sun and those safety reflector vest worn by traffic officers." I didn't mean: "Intelligence - having the capacity for thought and reason especially to a high degree."

Glenda, in actual fact, is far from being intelligent! She was almost 40 years old when she finally earned her Bachelor's Degree in Education Major in Values Education. She took up Elementary for 20 years, High School for 10 years and College for 10 years. Now if you are a Grown-Up who maybe wondering why it took Glenda that long to finish her studies, allow me now to explain why by telling you more details about Glenda. So, please be patient.

It is important, right here - right now, that you know that Glenda was born in Baranggay Capipiza Kanluran Tanza Cavite. She grew up among the Carabaos, Goats, Chickens, Ducks, Bayawaks, and Kuligligs of the said Province in the Philippines. Glenda grew up learning how to operate the Araro and she also knows how to sail the Bangka! During her spare time, Glenda strolled along the Ricefields, the Waterfalls, and the Beach of the tiny and sleepy Town located in the Western part of Tanza Cavite called Capipiza! It is also in Capipiza where Glenda studied Elementary. Actually, Glenda never had any interest with school. Her only dream was to be a Lady Farmer or be a Fisher Woman in Capipiza! But her father, who was the richest man in Capipiza and is actually the Town's Captain, forced her to go to school.

Glenda was actually at a normal age when she first set foot in school as a Preschool Student in the Town's Day Care Center. She was still at the right age when she went on to study Elementary. Glenda, being the only child of the Town's Captain, had everything that a student could ask for! She had everything except the intelligence to survive life in school. Thanks though to her father's money and influence, Glenda was able to - somehow - get through school. Glenda's father would approach Teachers and School Officials if he sees that Glenda needs some help, specially in passing!

Anyway, Glenda - despite the help that she gets from her father - still struggled in school! Glenda struggled in school because she had no interest with Reading, Mathematics, Arts, Music, History and Science. During classes her mind is occupied with thoughts of the Rice Field and the Sea. Because of her intellectual liabilities - and despite her father's help - Glenda was able to complete the whole Elementary Program - a School Curricular Program which normally takes only 6 years - for 10 long years. Unfortunately, a week before her graduation, it was discovered that there was a discrepancy in the name that she had been using in all her school records with her actual name in her birth certificate!

It was discovered that Glenda's real name is Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto. This prompted the school officials to force Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto to repeat the whole Elementary Program! Glenda and her Father felt very sad about the situation and they both cried for 2 minutes and 36 seconds. However, Glenda's father did not question the school official's decision.

He felt that it was partly his fault. He forgot to tell Glenda what her real name was! He forgot that Glenda is just a nickname. A name that he was so fond of. A name that he gave his daughter as nickname.

Anyway, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto studied Elementary again - for another 10 years! At the end of the 10 years, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was finally able to graduate without any hitch! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto then studied High School in Amaya School of Home and Industries which is located in Baranggay Amaya still in Tanza Cavite. Amaya School of Home and Industries or ASHI is just 1 Tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza.

Now, it is important that I tell you at this point of the story that: It is during High School when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto started wearing Safety Reflector Vest. It was actually her father who told her to do so. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was asked to wear Safety Reflector Vest because she was studying in Amaya School of Home Industries already. And the said School is 1 Tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza! This means that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto had to cross the street! At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was not comfortable wearing the Safety Reflector Vest, but after seeing the benefit of it, she decided to waer it everytime she leaves home and she also decided to make it her fashion statement!

Anyway, going back, I have to tell you that after repeating Elementary due to discrepancy in the name used as compared to the actual name in the Birth Certificate, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto became more careful! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto made sure that she used her real name in all of her school records. But despite being careful with the use of her name, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto still had one problem. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto struggled in school. She could not cope with the demands of High School. She gets frightened with numbers! And, she did not understand Big Words in English. To hide her lack of intellectual prowress, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto decided to always utter the word: Definitely! this way, she thought she will sound intelligent.

Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto tried to pass all her subjects in school, but just like when she was still in Elementary, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto - despite all the help that she got from her father - also completed High School for 10 long years. Allow me now to put in details how this happened! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was a Freshman for 2 years, a Sophomore for 3 years, a Junior for 2 years, and a Senior for 3 years! The reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto keeps repeating each Year Level is because she could not speak English well. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto also could not understand long sentences in English. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto does not even know the meaning of simple English words like: Brain, Study, Intelligent, and Honor. Infact, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto thought that those words were examples of Fishes in the Sea! Another reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto failed in High School is because she was always being sent home. Now I also have to tell you that everytime she hears some one speak in English and everytime she tries to speak in English, her nose would mysteriously begin to bleed! So her Teachers thought that she was sick! So these are the reasons why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto completed High School for 10 long years. By the way, High School Course in the Philippines only takes 4 years to complete!

After graduating from High School, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was enrolled in Western Colleges. A small College in Naic Cavite. Western Colleges is just 1 tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father also decided that she takes up Bachelor of Education as a course. Allow me to point out that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was from that era when parents of not-so-intelligent children would require or force their children to: "Just take up Bachelor of Education and be a Teacher only." And so, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto knowing her own capacity agreed to take up the course that her father wants her to take up.

At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto tried to Major in English because she was hoping that by doing so, She will begin to learn the meaning of simple words such as: Brain, Study, Intelligent, and Honor! She was also hoping that she will learn more words in English and be able to speak English fluently. Unfortunately everytime her Professors discuss a lesson, she would have nose bleed. And everytime her Professor would assign her to conduct a report, she always ends up staring blankly at the class and utter the word "Definitely" repeatedly without end while her nose bleeds! This made her shift from English to taking up Math as her Major. But that wasn't very successful either. So she also tried Science, History, Music, Arts, and Physical Education but none were successful! Finally she took up Values Education as her Major and she finally graduated after 10 long years! Thanks to her father's money and influence - I mean, help!

After Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto graduated from College with a Degree in Bachelor of Secondary Education Major in Values, Her father decided to let her live in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City. Her father, being rich and influential was able to buy a property in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City and was able to put up a school which he named: St. John's Academy! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was first appointed - by her father - as Teacher Aide to the Nursery Class. Her job was to erase the writing on the board, clean up the mess of the Nursery Students, play with the Nursery Students during PE, and lead the singing of "Good bye my Teacher, Good bye" before Class Dismissal! After 10 days, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was appointed - by the father - as the School Principal.

Her father, knowing that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was not very sharp and may find her new job really difficult, decided to hire a tutor! The said tutor was to assist Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto in her job as the School Principal. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's tutor though was strictly instructed by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father to never show up to anybody! It was agreed that the tutor should be unseen, unnoticed, and unknown! The tutor should make sure that it would only be Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto or Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father who would see her. If it was impossible for the tutor to be unseen and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto needs help, the tutor should disguise herself first before showing up to assist Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto. She should disguise herself either as: a Pizza Delivery Boy, an Afgan Woman wearing Burka, a Colorfully Costumed Clown, a Black bat, an Albino Cat, a Green House Snake, a Beach Ball, a Picture Frame, an Artificial Flower or a Shadow! The tutor agreed to the conditions because after all, she will be paid big cash! By the way, the name of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's tutor is: Mrs. Lucy Fernan!

Now if you are a Grown-Up who has grown increasingly agitated at all the characters that I've been introducing and seeing that I have not actually made true of the promise that I made on last sentence of the second to the last paragraph of the episode entitled: The Contemptible Classmate, then I guess I have to try to understand you more and forgive you. Afterall, Patience - to some Grown-Up - do grow thin as one ages.

Anyway, to fulfill that promise and since I have already introduced to you The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy named Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto who in actual fact fits the title The Pinheaded Principal more, allow me now to tell you about the Canteen Incident.

If you may recall, it was Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal who ordered Elsa to be a Canteen Assistant for a week as punishment for being wrongly accused of possessing a leakage during exams. This is the third of 3 punishments! The first is that Elsa was disallowed to take the exam. The second is that she was asked to walk around the campus while holding a placard saying: " I am a Cheater! Do not imitate me! "

Now, being the person responsible for Elsa performing Canteen Assistant task, I could say that it is Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's fault why Elsa suffered yet again in the hands of Ely Rose Apple - the Brattish Bully!

Picking up from where I ended from the episode entitled: The Brattish Bully, Elsa was made to wash dishes, fetch water, chop woods, clean the dining area, and serve foods to students during lunch for one week! Elsa must perform the said punishment from start of class until dismissal time! This means that Elsa was not to attend classes. Elsa however, did not feel bad about what she was going through. She just thought that the reason why she was ask to be a Canteen Assistant was for her to develop her talent at serving or helping others who are eating in the canteen!

Elsa was actually thinking about the positive side of the punishment on the 5th and last day when Ely Rose Apple along with the Contemptible Classmates called her to join them in the table. Ely Rose Apple together with Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar were in the school canteen to have lunch! As Elsa approached her classmates, she was ready to follow all the orders of the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates! Elsa was also ready to accept every slap on the face that she may receive. Elsa was ready to swallow all the humiliation that the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates would utter at her. Elsa was ready with the worst!

But Elsa was surprised at what she heard when she finally reached the table where the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates are sitting in. Elsa could not believe it when Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa, my friend, why don't you sit down and have lunch with us"? Elsa was speechless for 17 seconds! Elsa could not believe what she heard. Elsa became even more shocked when Fritz Noel approached her, held her hands, and brought her near the table. Elsa could not believe it either when Lia Reynalyn made her seat beside her. Elsa was more surprised when Anthony Bob handed her a toy to play with. Elsa was still shocked when Nerissa Janina smiled at her. Elsa was still speechless when Adelaida Floricar said: "Elsa, since you have not attended classes for 5 days already, I will lend you all my lectures so that you could study well. I will also ask our Beloved Teacher to give you make up exams. I'm sure our Beloved Teacher will agree, am I right Josie Jean?" Elsa came back to her senses when Josie Jean said: "Huh? What, Who, Where, When, Why, How?" as a reply to what Adelaida Floricar said!

Elsa was already sitting on the table with the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates and was still wondering at what was happening when she again heard Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa my ever dearest friend, why don't you order some foods? It's my treat! I see how hard you have worked this week! I want you to feel better." Elsa could not believe what she heard and all that she was able to say was: "Thank you!". Before Elsa could say anything more, Ely Rose Apple has already instructed Nerissa Janina to order foods.

After 8 minutes and 46 seconds, several School Canteen Personnel started coming towards the table with many foods! One School Canteen Personnel looked at Elsa devilishly. But Ely Rose Apple was quick to tell Elsa: "Don't worry. I'll take care of everything!" While the foods are being prepared, Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she was sorry for what has happened and that starting that day she wants them to be friends. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar also want to be friends with her. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she will ask her father to give her a raise in her salary. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she will build her up with their Beloved Teacher so that the Teacher won't be mad at her anymore! Elsa felt very happy! Elsa could not believe her luck! Elsa smiled and thanked God. Elsa happily had lunch with Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar!

After lunch, Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa, can you please join us later this afternoon in the school playground? Let us play Touch the Body out! I really want to be friends with you." Elsa was adamant at first but when Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar all said in chorus: "Please, Elsa?" The Simple Schoolgirl eventually said: "Okay." Ely Rose Apple with Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar all smiled and patted Elsa at her back.

All seem well when suddenly the bell rang. This means that the students must come back to their classroom. All student except Elsa. Elsa must still stay in the Canteen. Her punishment ends at dismissal. Before Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar left, The Brattsih Bully handed Elsa 3 Five Hundred Peso bill. Ely Rose Apple then said: "Elsa my dear friend, that money will cover everything that we have eaten today. There might be some extra. Keep it for yourself. I wish to see you later this afternoon in the playground, okay?" Elsa smiled and said: "Thank you very much."

After Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar left, Elsa was still speechless. Elsa could not believe what just happened. Elsa was very happy that finally she is friends with Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar. Elsa was very excited to meet her new friends in the playground. Elsa was already looking forward for dismissal time when suddenly she thought she heard the Breathless Bestfriend whispering to her. She thought she heard Ivy Violinda Ubesa telling her to: "Look at the money." At first, Elsa ignored the voice. But when the voice became persistent, she scrutinized the money on her hands and was very shocked to see Kris Aquino on the 500 peso bill instead of Ninoy Aquino!

Things happened very fast afterward! Elsa was scolded by the Canteen Manager! The Groveling Guard came and said: "Violation number 6: Estafa"! Then Elsa was slapped 57 times on the face by the Canteen Cashier! Then Elsa was pushed hard on the wall. Then Elsa was beaten. Then Elsa was kicked. Then Elsa was told that she is ugly, stupid, and poor while unwashed plates, spoons, forks, water glasses and pitchers were hurled at her! Just then Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal appeared, approached Elsa and said: "Definitely! Hey you! The only one of you! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right Now!"