The Agony of Elsa

If an award for "The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy" will someday ever be given, it will be wise that the Grown-Ups, who are known to have devised or formulated a scientific way on how to choose the best among a roster of already best, consider - without second thoughts - of awarding it to the School Principal of St. John's Academy named: Glenda Hampto!

Glenda Hampto deserves the award: "The Brightest School Principal in the entire World and its nearby Galaxy" for two reasons! Firstly because Glenda Hampto is undeniably very bright! Second and most importantly, Glenda loves wearing Safety Reflector Vest!

Now again, If you are a Grown-Up who finds my reasons for suggesting that the award for being "The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy" be given to Glenda Hampto really senseless, allow me to explain that the word BRIGHT in this episode is actually an adjective that means: "Light - characterized by or emitting light. Having lots of light either natural or artificial such as the sun and those safety reflector vest worn by traffic officers." I didn't mean: "Intelligence - having the capacity for thought and reason especially to a high degree."

Glenda, in actual fact, is far from being intelligent! She was almost 40 years old when she finally earned her Bachelor's Degree in Education Major in Values Education. She took up Elementary for 20 years, High School for 10 years and College for 10 years. Now if you are a Grown-Up who maybe wondering why it took Glenda that long to finish her studies, allow me now to explain why by telling you more details about Glenda. So, please be patient.

It is important, right here - right now, that you know that Glenda was born in Baranggay Capipiza Kanluran Tanza Cavite. She grew up among the Carabaos, Goats, Chickens, Ducks, Bayawaks, and Kuligligs of the said Province in the Philippines. Glenda grew up learning how to operate the Araro and she also knows how to sail the Bangka! During her spare time, Glenda strolled along the Ricefields, the Waterfalls, and the Beach of the tiny and sleepy Town located in the Western part of Tanza Cavite called Capipiza! It is also in Capipiza where Glenda studied Elementary. Actually, Glenda never had any interest with school. Her only dream was to be a Lady Farmer or be a Fisher Woman in Capipiza! But her father, who was the richest man in Capipiza and is actually the Town's Captain, forced her to go to school.

Glenda was actually at a normal age when she first set foot in school as a Preschool Student in the Town's Day Care Center. She was still at the right age when she went on to study Elementary. Glenda, being the only child of the Town's Captain, had everything that a student could ask for! She had everything except the intelligence to survive life in school. Thanks though to her father's money and influence, Glenda was able to - somehow - get through school. Glenda's father would approach Teachers and School Officials if he sees that Glenda needs some help, specially in passing!

Anyway, Glenda - despite the help that she gets from her father - still struggled in school! Glenda struggled in school because she had no interest with Reading, Mathematics, Arts, Music, History and Science. During classes her mind is occupied with thoughts of the Rice Field and the Sea. Because of her intellectual liabilities - and despite her father's help - Glenda was able to complete the whole Elementary Program - a School Curricular Program which normally takes only 6 years - for 10 long years. Unfortunately, a week before her graduation, it was discovered that there was a discrepancy in the name that she had been using in all her school records with her actual name in her birth certificate!

It was discovered that Glenda's real name is Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto. This prompted the school officials to force Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto to repeat the whole Elementary Program! Glenda and her Father felt very sad about the situation and they both cried for 2 minutes and 36 seconds. However, Glenda's father did not question the school official's decision.

He felt that it was partly his fault. He forgot to tell Glenda what her real name was! He forgot that Glenda is just a nickname. A name that he was so fond of. A name that he gave his daughter as nickname.

Anyway, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto studied Elementary again - for another 10 years! At the end of the 10 years, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was finally able to graduate without any hitch! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto then studied High School in Amaya School of Home and Industries which is located in Baranggay Amaya still in Tanza Cavite. Amaya School of Home and Industries or ASHI is just 1 Tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza.

Now, it is important that I tell you at this point of the story that: It is during High School when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto started wearing Safety Reflector Vest. It was actually her father who told her to do so. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was asked to wear Safety Reflector Vest because she was studying in Amaya School of Home Industries already. And the said School is 1 Tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza! This means that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto had to cross the street! At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was not comfortable wearing the Safety Reflector Vest, but after seeing the benefit of it, she decided to waer it everytime she leaves home and she also decided to make it her fashion statement!

Anyway, going back, I have to tell you that after repeating Elementary due to discrepancy in the name used as compared to the actual name in the Birth Certificate, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto became more careful! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto made sure that she used her real name in all of her school records. But despite being careful with the use of her name, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto still had one problem. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto struggled in school. She could not cope with the demands of High School. She gets frightened with numbers! And, she did not understand Big Words in English. To hide her lack of intellectual prowress, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto decided to always utter the word: Definitely! this way, she thought she will sound intelligent.

Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto tried to pass all her subjects in school, but just like when she was still in Elementary, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto - despite all the help that she got from her father - also completed High School for 10 long years. Allow me now to put in details how this happened! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was a Freshman for 2 years, a Sophomore for 3 years, a Junior for 2 years, and a Senior for 3 years! The reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto keeps repeating each Year Level is because she could not speak English well. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto also could not understand long sentences in English. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto does not even know the meaning of simple English words like: Brain, Study, Intelligent, and Honor. Infact, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto thought that those words were examples of Fishes in the Sea! Another reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto failed in High School is because she was always being sent home. Now I also have to tell you that everytime she hears some one speak in English and everytime she tries to speak in English, her nose would mysteriously begin to bleed! So her Teachers thought that she was sick! So these are the reasons why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto completed High School for 10 long years. By the way, High School Course in the Philippines only takes 4 years to complete!

After graduating from High School, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was enrolled in Western Colleges. A small College in Naic Cavite. Western Colleges is just 1 tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father also decided that she takes up Bachelor of Education as a course. Allow me to point out that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was from that era when parents of not-so-intelligent children would require or force their children to: "Just take up Bachelor of Education and be a Teacher only." And so, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto knowing her own capacity agreed to take up the course that her father wants her to take up.

At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto tried to Major in English because she was hoping that by doing so, She will begin to learn the meaning of simple words such as: Brain, Study, Intelligent, and Honor! She was also hoping that she will learn more words in English and be able to speak English fluently. Unfortunately everytime her Professors discuss a lesson, she would have nose bleed. And everytime her Professor would assign her to conduct a report, she always ends up staring blankly at the class and utter the word "Definitely" repeatedly without end while her nose bleeds! This made her shift from English to taking up Math as her Major. But that wasn't very successful either. So she also tried Science, History, Music, Arts, and Physical Education but none were successful! Finally she took up Values Education as her Major and she finally graduated after 10 long years! Thanks to her father's money and influence - I mean, help!

After Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto graduated from College with a Degree in Bachelor of Secondary Education Major in Values, Her father decided to let her live in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City. Her father, being rich and influential was able to buy a property in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City and was able to put up a school which he named: St. John's Academy! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was first appointed - by her father - as Teacher Aide to the Nursery Class. Her job was to erase the writing on the board, clean up the mess of the Nursery Students, play with the Nursery Students during PE, and lead the singing of "Good bye my Teacher, Good bye" before Class Dismissal! After 10 days, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was appointed - by the father - as the School Principal.

Her father, knowing that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was not very sharp and may find her new job really difficult, decided to hire a tutor! The said tutor was to assist Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto in her job as the School Principal. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's tutor though was strictly instructed by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father to never show up to anybody! It was agreed that the tutor should be unseen, unnoticed, and unknown! The tutor should make sure that it would only be Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto or Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father who would see her. If it was impossible for the tutor to be unseen and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto needs help, the tutor should disguise herself first before showing up to assist Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto. She should disguise herself either as: a Pizza Delivery Boy, an Afgan Woman wearing Burka, a Colorfully Costumed Clown, a Black bat, an Albino Cat, a Green House Snake, a Beach Ball, a Picture Frame, an Artificial Flower or a Shadow! The tutor agreed to the conditions because after all, she will be paid big cash! By the way, the name of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's tutor is: Mrs. Lucy Fernan!

Now if you are a Grown-Up who has grown increasingly agitated at all the characters that I've been introducing and seeing that I have not actually made true of the promise that I made on last sentence of the second to the last paragraph of the episode entitled: The Contemptible Classmate, then I guess I have to try to understand you more and forgive you. Afterall, Patience - to some Grown-Up - do grow thin as one ages.

Anyway, to fulfill that promise and since I have already introduced to you The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy named Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto who in actual fact fits the title The Pinheaded Principal more, allow me now to tell you about the Canteen Incident.

If you may recall, it was Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal who ordered Elsa to be a Canteen Assistant for a week as punishment for being wrongly accused of possessing a leakage during exams. This is the third of 3 punishments! The first is that Elsa was disallowed to take the exam. The second is that she was asked to walk around the campus while holding a placard saying: " I am a Cheater! Do not imitate me! "

Now, being the person responsible for Elsa performing Canteen Assistant task, I could say that it is Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's fault why Elsa suffered yet again in the hands of Ely Rose Apple - the Brattish Bully!

Picking up from where I ended from the episode entitled: The Brattish Bully, Elsa was made to wash dishes, fetch water, chop woods, clean the dining area, and serve foods to students during lunch for one week! Elsa must perform the said punishment from start of class until dismissal time! This means that Elsa was not to attend classes. Elsa however, did not feel bad about what she was going through. She just thought that the reason why she was ask to be a Canteen Assistant was for her to develop her talent at serving or helping others who are eating in the canteen!

Elsa was actually thinking about the positive side of the punishment on the 5th and last day when Ely Rose Apple along with the Contemptible Classmates called her to join them in the table. Ely Rose Apple together with Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar were in the school canteen to have lunch! As Elsa approached her classmates, she was ready to follow all the orders of the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates! Elsa was also ready to accept every slap on the face that she may receive. Elsa was ready to swallow all the humiliation that the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates would utter at her. Elsa was ready with the worst!

But Elsa was surprised at what she heard when she finally reached the table where the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates are sitting in. Elsa could not believe it when Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa, my friend, why don't you sit down and have lunch with us"? Elsa was speechless for 17 seconds! Elsa could not believe what she heard. Elsa became even more shocked when Fritz Noel approached her, held her hands, and brought her near the table. Elsa could not believe it either when Lia Reynalyn made her seat beside her. Elsa was more surprised when Anthony Bob handed her a toy to play with. Elsa was still shocked when Nerissa Janina smiled at her. Elsa was still speechless when Adelaida Floricar said: "Elsa, since you have not attended classes for 5 days already, I will lend you all my lectures so that you could study well. I will also ask our Beloved Teacher to give you make up exams. I'm sure our Beloved Teacher will agree, am I right Josie Jean?" Elsa came back to her senses when Josie Jean said: "Huh? What, Who, Where, When, Why, How?" as a reply to what Adelaida Floricar said!

Elsa was already sitting on the table with the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates and was still wondering at what was happening when she again heard Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa my ever dearest friend, why don't you order some foods? It's my treat! I see how hard you have worked this week! I want you to feel better." Elsa could not believe what she heard and all that she was able to say was: "Thank you!". Before Elsa could say anything more, Ely Rose Apple has already instructed Nerissa Janina to order foods.

After 8 minutes and 46 seconds, several School Canteen Personnel started coming towards the table with many foods! One School Canteen Personnel looked at Elsa devilishly. But Ely Rose Apple was quick to tell Elsa: "Don't worry. I'll take care of everything!" While the foods are being prepared, Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she was sorry for what has happened and that starting that day she wants them to be friends. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar also want to be friends with her. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she will ask her father to give her a raise in her salary. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she will build her up with their Beloved Teacher so that the Teacher won't be mad at her anymore! Elsa felt very happy! Elsa could not believe her luck! Elsa smiled and thanked God. Elsa happily had lunch with Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar!

After lunch, Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa, can you please join us later this afternoon in the school playground? Let us play Touch the Body out! I really want to be friends with you." Elsa was adamant at first but when Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar all said in chorus: "Please, Elsa?" The Simple Schoolgirl eventually said: "Okay." Ely Rose Apple with Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar all smiled and patted Elsa at her back.

All seem well when suddenly the bell rang. This means that the students must come back to their classroom. All student except Elsa. Elsa must still stay in the Canteen. Her punishment ends at dismissal. Before Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar left, The Brattsih Bully handed Elsa 3 Five Hundred Peso bill. Ely Rose Apple then said: "Elsa my dear friend, that money will cover everything that we have eaten today. There might be some extra. Keep it for yourself. I wish to see you later this afternoon in the playground, okay?" Elsa smiled and said: "Thank you very much."

After Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar left, Elsa was still speechless. Elsa could not believe what just happened. Elsa was very happy that finally she is friends with Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar. Elsa was very excited to meet her new friends in the playground. Elsa was already looking forward for dismissal time when suddenly she thought she heard the Breathless Bestfriend whispering to her. She thought she heard Ivy Violinda Ubesa telling her to: "Look at the money." At first, Elsa ignored the voice. But when the voice became persistent, she scrutinized the money on her hands and was very shocked to see Kris Aquino on the 500 peso bill instead of Ninoy Aquino!

Things happened very fast afterward! Elsa was scolded by the Canteen Manager! The Groveling Guard came and said: "Violation number 6: Estafa"! Then Elsa was slapped 57 times on the face by the Canteen Cashier! Then Elsa was pushed hard on the wall. Then Elsa was beaten. Then Elsa was kicked. Then Elsa was told that she is ugly, stupid, and poor while unwashed plates, spoons, forks, water glasses and pitchers were hurled at her! Just then Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal appeared, approached Elsa and said: "Definitely! Hey you! The only one of you! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right Now!"