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The Sick Suitors

2 Sympathetic statements on a very sad story that is nervously narrated by: Adnos Uyañe Plein

Romeo and Juliet, in my opinion, would probably be the World's Most Famous Lovers ever! This couple has become a synonym for love itself. Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy written by the equally famous William Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet's love story is very tragic. The tale of two teenagers from two feuding families who fall in love at first sight and then marry, become true lovers and then risk it all for their love. To take your own life for your husband or wife is definitely a sign of true love. Their "untimely deaths" ultimately unite their feuding households.

Antony and Cleopatra, again in my honest opinion, ranks second as the World's Most Famous Lovers! The true love story of Antony and Cleopatra is one of the most memorable, intriguing and moving of all times. The story of these two historical characters had later been dramatized by William Shakespeare and is still staged all over the world. The relationship of Antony and Cleopatra is a true test of love. They fell in love at first sight. The relationship between these two powerful people put the country of Egypt in a powerful position. But their love affair outraged the Romans who were wary of the growing powers of the Egyptians. Despite all the threats, Anthony and Cleopatra got married. It is said that while fighting a battle against Romans, Antony got false news of Cleopatra's death. Shattered, he fell on his sword. When Cleopatra learned about Antony 's death, she was shocked. And she took her own life. Great love demands great sacrifices!

Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere, in my most honest opinion once again, ranks third as the World's Most Famous Lovers! The tragic love story of Sir Lancelot and Queen Guinevere is probably one of the best-known stories of Arthurian Legend. Lancelot fall in love with Queen Guinevere, King Arthur's wife. Their love grew slowly, as Guinevere kept Lancelot away from her. Eventually, however, her love and passion overpowered her and the pair became lovers. One night, Sir Agravain and Sir Modred, King Arthur's nephew, led a band of 12 knights to Guinevere's chamber where they burst in upon the lovers. Discovered, Sir Lancelot made a fighting escape, but poor Guinevere was not so lucky. She was seized and condemned to burn to death for her adultery. Fear not. Sir Lancelot returned several days later to rescue his beloved Guinevere from the fire. This whole sad affair divided the Knights of the Round Table and weakened Arthur's kingdom. Poor Lancelot ended his days as a lowly hermit and Guinevere became a nun at Amesbury where she died.

Other famous lovers in history and literature includes: Tristan and Isolde, Paris and Helena, Orpheus and Eurydice, Napoleon and Josephine, Odysseus and Penelope, Paolo and Francesca, Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler, Eyre and Rochester, Layla and Majnun, Eloise and Abelard, Pyramus and Thisbe, Elizabeth Bennett and Darcy, Salim and Anarkali, Pocahontas and John Smith, Shah Jahan and Mumtaz Mahal, Marie and Pierre Curie, Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, Elizabeth Barret and Richard Browning, Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater, Crisostomo Ibarra and Maria Clara, Sleeping Beauty and Prince Phillip, Fa Mulan and Li Shang, and Shrek and Fiona!

It is important to note that the story of most of the World's Most Famous Lovers ended up tragically! Another important thing to take note of is how the lovers who I mentioned above first met! I am sure that you - my dear readers - are very much aware that Romeo and Juliet first met in a Masquerade in the Capulet's Mansion, Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater first met at the stern of the ill fated RMS Titanic, while Fa Mulan and Li Shang first met in the army camp! Sweet isn't it?

Now, allow me to tell you that Elsa met her true love as well, however it wasn't in a Masquerade just like Romeo and Juliet, nor was it at the Stern of an ill fated ship like Jack Dawson and Rose DeWitt Bukater and neither was it in an Army Camp in China before the invasion of the Huns like Fa Mulan and Li Shang! The truth is: Elsa actually met her love inside the Boy's comfort room of St John's Academy! Now, how did this just happened? Allow me to tell you details of Elsa's love story by me first going back to the time when Elsa was inside the School Library of St John's Academy on her fifth day as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning! Allow me to go back to the time when Elsa was about to get her self a piece of pizza!

Elsa was about to get her self a piece of pizza when suddenly Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks screamed from behind her! Josefina yelled: "Oh no! Don't steal my foods! I will bring those home!" Klarizza screamed: " Oh no! Don't touch those foods! Those are mine!" and Emerlita hollered: "Guard! Help us!" Suddenly Omario Bulatao, the Groveling Guard appeared, grabbed Elsa's hands and in a very loud voice said: "Violation number 7: Illegal possession of Deadly Weapon"!

Omario then dragged Elsa to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's office. While Omario drags Elsa to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's office he kept saying: "Violation number 7: Illegal possession of Deadly Weapon"! Omario also made sure that his voice was loud enough for the other students and teachers to hear what he is saying! Upon reaching Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's office, Omario forcefully opened the door then pushed Elsa in! Omario then saluted and said: " Miss Hampto! You are the most beautiful, intelligent, charming, sexy, and deserving Principal of this prestigious school! I want to report to you that I find this bald girl guilty beyond reasonable doubt of the charge of: Violation number 7: Illegal possession of Deadly Weapon! "

Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, upon the instructions of her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan - who at that time was disguised as a shadow - got very angry, slapped Elsa's face 14 times, and said: " You bald girl is very bad! I am the Sexiest and Most Deserving Principal of this prestigious school! Why did you commit Violation Number 7: Illegal Possession of Deadly Weapon? Why are you a very bad girl? Give me your reason! Answer me in simple English only!" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then paused for a while appearing to be waiting for Elsa to give her reason.

Elsa noticed that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal stopped talking and seem to be waiting for her to defend herself. Elsa took a deep breath, looked at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal and was about to reason out when suddenly Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal screamed saying: " Hey you! Yes you the only one of you! You are a very bad girl! You are disrespectful! Why will you answer me back? You don't have Good Manners and Right Conduct! You should not answer back Grown-Up people like me! " Elsa was confused. She thought that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was asking her for her reason but when she was about to give her reason, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got mad and accused her of being disrespectful! But Elsa did not get mad at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she just thought that the reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal behaved the way she did was because Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal might be very tired already!

Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, upon the instruction of her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan, then punched Elsa's mouth 6 times while saying: " You bald girl is very bad! You should never answer back a well respected Grown-Up like me! You deserve to be punished! You have made another violation, and you are disrespectful, and according to Josefina, Klarizza and Emerlita you are very lazy! I want to see your Master tomorrow right now! "

Omario Bulatao the Groveling Guard who was at that time still inside the Principal's office, upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal say: " I want to see your Master tomorrow right now! ", immediately ran to the classroom of the Terrible Teacher to relay what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just said. It was the Terrible Teacher who then immediately ran to the Gotohan of the Misinformed Master to tell Mang Joey that Elsa committed Violation Number 7: Illegal Possession of Deadly Weapon and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal wants to talk to him!

When Mang Joey learned that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal wanted to talk to him because Elsa got into trouble again, he got worried but was a bit disappointed at Elsa. Mang Joey immediately closed the Gotohan and hurriedly went to St. John's Academy and headed straight to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's office. As Mang Joey entered Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's office, he heard Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal said: " Hey you! Mang Joey the owner of the gotohan infront of my prestigious school and the master of this bald girl who is very bad, I want to tell you that I find Elsa guilty beyond reasonable doubt of Violation Number 7: Illegal Possession of Deadly Weapon ! And she is disrespectful! And according to Josefina, Klarizza and Emerlita she is also very lazy! Because of that I want to inform you that I will punish Elsa! I will assign her as Assistant Janitress and she must clean the Boy's Comfort Room from start of classes until end of classes with 2 hours overtime everyday without pay for 3 months! Do you understand? Okay! You can leave now! And you can bring Elsa along with you this moment right now!"

Mang Joey did not say a word anymore. After hearing what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal said, he just quietly walked out of the office of Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal with Elsa and went back to the Gotohan. Upon reaching the Gotohan, Mang Joey opened the store again to serve customers! Elsa spent the rest of the day at the gotohan and she just worked hard as usual. As expected, with Elsa around the gotohan, plenty of customers came to the gotohan to eat! Elsa attended to all the customers without any hint of tiredness!

While watching Elsa work, Mang Joey was a bit confused at how he is really feeling towards Elsa. Mang Joey feels bad that Elsa was punished again, but he also feels a bit annoyed that Elsa has to clean the Boy's Comfort Room of St. John's Academy. The reason behind Mang Joey's annoyance is: If Elsa has to clean the Boy's Comfort Room of St. John's Academy from start of classes until end of classes with 2 hours overtime everyday without pay for 3 month, that means that by the time Elsa works for his Gotohan, the Simple Schoolgirl might be very tired already and may not work as well as she does! And so Mang Joey decided to talk to Elsa. Mang Joey told Elsa how he really feels. Mang Joey also reminded Elsa that if she commits another violation, she will be kicked out from school.

Elsa told Mang Joey that she was very sorry for what happened. However, Elsa did not defend herself anymore on the violation that she was accused of committing. Elsa also promised Mang Joey that she will not make any more violations and that she will still work hard in the gotohan even if she cleans the Boy's Comfort Room of St. John's Academy from start of classes until end of classes with 2 hours overtime everyday without pay for 3 months. Mang Joey accepted Elsa's apology.

The next Monday, Elsa started working on the new punishment. Elsa started her work as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room of St. John's Academy! And it was inside the Boy's Comfort Room of St. John's Academy where Elsa met Albert Jason Martinez the Good Boy. Albert Jason would have the distinction of being the first boy that Elsa is to have a special feelings for!

Anyway, as I was saying, on Elsa's first day as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she met Albert Jason Martinez the Good Boy! At that time Albert Jason was inside the Boy's Comfort Room to heed to the call of nature when he saw Elsa. At first, Albert Jason was very surprised to see Elsa cleaning the comfort room. Albert Jason asked Elsa why she is cleaning the comfort room. Elsa, in full details, told Albert Jason what happened to her and how she ended up cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room. Albert Jason, after hearing Elsa's story, felt very sorry for Elsa. Soon after, Elsa and Albert Jason quickly became friends! Albert Jason promised Elsa that after classes he will always drop by the Boy's Comfort room to wait for Elsa so that he could tutor Elsa on the day's lesson. Elsa agreed! Soon enough, Elsa and Albert Jason were studying together after school. Elsa got overwhelmed at the attention that Albert Jason was giving her! Elsa, at first could not understand what it was that she was feeling! But when she started having good dreams about Albert Jason, she knew that she was feeling something very special!

Unfortunately, before the week was over, Albert Jason got critically sick and he had to be admitted to the hospital! Albert Jason failed to fetch Elsa at the Boy's Comfort room that Monday! Infact he was never to show up ever again because his parents decided that he get transferred to another school. Apparently, Albert Jason was diagnosed of having acquired an uncommon strain of Viral Infection that was traced to have been from the Boy's Comfort Room! Upon learning of what happened to Albert Jason, Elsa was extremely very sad but she tried to understand the situation. That week Elsa learned that its painful to lose someone who one has good dream about!

On Elsa's second week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she met Dominic Flores the Bad Boy. At this point Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, upon the instruction of her tutor named Mr. Lucy Fernan, has instructed Elsa to clean the Boy's Comfort Room twice as hard after what has happened to Albert Jason. Elsa simply agreed and as expected, she worked harder than what she does before! And when I say " twice as hard ", I mean it literally! Elsa does things two times! She mops the Comfort Room Floor twice! She scrubs the Toilet Bowl twice! And she wipes the mirrors two times as well! Now, it was at that time when Elsa was doing things twice when Dominic noticed her! At first, Dominic made fun of Elsa! Dominic did so because he did not understand why Elsa was doing thing two times! Dominic hid the mop that Elsa is using causing Elsa some delay on her job! Dominic also intentionally threw dirt inside the Boy's Comfort Room causing Elsa some dismay that she has to clean the Comfort Room all over again! Elsa soon found out that it was Dominic who was doing all the pranks at her! But instead of confronting Dominic, Elsa just ignored Dominic's tricks on her because she still misses Albert Jason and she has to make sure that the Boy's comfort Room is really clean!!

Dominic then tried playing more pranks at Elsa but the Simple Schoolgirl simply shrugged her shoulders and refused to get affected! Dominic, seeing how Elsa handles the situation, got impressed at how Elsa took all his bullying and he changed his wrong ways! Dominic decided to treat Elsa out during recess and he asked to be forgiven. Dominic also gave Elsa a Fuji apple as a token for peace. Elsa accepted Dominic's apple and apology. Soon enough Dominic was fetching Elsa from the Boy's Comfort Room after classes! Dominic also continued giving Elsa more apples! Dominic was undeniably in love with Elsa. Elsa on the other hand was also starting to develop a special feeling towards Dominic! But it was too late! Before the week ended, Dominic was accused of stealing Fuji apples from the Terrible Teacher and he was kicked out of the school leaving Elsa alone! That week Elsa learned that it is also painful to lose someone who took the effort to change his ways just to be accepted by the person he loves!

On Elsa's third week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Johnny Carlito De Guillen the Gay Boy. Johnny Carlito was the first to spot Elsa inside the Boy's Comfort Room! Johnny Carlito De Gullien already knew who Elsa is based on what he has heard! Johnny Carlito De Guillen loves chin-wagging! Johnny Carlito De Guillen made Elsa fall in love with him. Johnny Carlito would treat Elsa during recess. Johnny Carlito would tell Elsa how beautiful she is! Johnny Carlito would talk to Elsa every night to ask her how she maintains her beauty! Johnny Carlito also walked the corridor with Elsa. Johnny Carlito waits for Elsa after school. With all the attention that Johnny Carlito was giving her, Elsa quickly felt something special towards the Gay Boy! When Johnny Carlito sensed that Elsa was already smitten, he started asking Elsa small favors. Then one day, Johnny Carlito asked Elsa to give him an original DVD copy of Pelukang Itim by Eddie Gill. Elsa agreed and she went to Quiapo. Unfortunately, an original DVD copy of Pelukang Itim by Eddie Gill is already out of stock, so Elsa bought Masikip sa Dibdib by Rufa Mae Quinto instead! Elsa also bought Eng Bee Tin Hopiang Munggo as she knows that this is Johnny Carlito's favorite food! When Elsa gave her gifts to Johnny Carlito, Johnny Carlito did not say Thank You. Instead he broke the DVD and wounded Elsa's face. Johnny Carlito then turned his back and left with the Eng Bee Tin Hopiang Munggo! Johnny Carlito did not fetch Elsa after school that day! The next morning when Elsa saw Johnny Carlito, she asked him why he did what he did, Johnny Carlito simply said: "I want to see your reaction!" Johnny Carlito then raised his eyebrows then walked away while swaying his hips!

Elsa was sad at what happened between her and Johnny Carlito! Elsa blamed herself! Elsa thought that had she bought Pelukang Itim by Eddie Gill, Johnny Carlito would not hurt her! Elsa was very much affected at what happened between her and Johnny Carlito! Elsa cried and for the first time she felt really bad about herself! Suddenly, Ivy Violinda Ubesa the Breathless Bestfriend appeared to Elsa and explained that she should not blame herself with what happened! Ivy Violinda Ubesa also told Elsa that she must instead try to understand Johnny Carlito! According to Ivy Violinda Ubesa, Johnny Carlito is a very sick child! Elsa did not understand what Ivy Vioinda Ubesa said! Elsa did not see anything in Johnny Carlito that would suggest that he is sick! Ivy Violinda Ubesa then explained that Johnny Carlito got abducted when he was younger, only to be reunited with his adoptive parent after several months with a trauma! Elsa then understood! Elsa also realized that some people may look physically healthy but they may still be sick! That week Elsa learned that it's painful to love someone who is consumed with the horrors of the past!

On Elsa's fourth week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Firmo Guzman the Mama's Boy! Elsa was the first to notice Firmo! Firmo is always inside the Boy's Comfort room because his mother would wipe his back, apply him powder, make him drink milk, and comb his hair every break! Elsa saw how lucky Firmo was for having a very loving mother! When Elsa got the chance, she told Firmo's mother that she thinks Firmo is a very lucky boy because he has a mother like her! Firmo's mother was flattered! Firmo's mother and Elsa quickly became friends! One day, Firmo's mother asked Elsa if she could wipe Firmo's back, apply him powder, make him drink milk, and comb his hair every break for three days because she will be going out of town! Elsa agreed! Elsa still did her job as Assistant Janitress while she also finds time to attend to Firmo! Soon enough Firmo and Elsa started feeling special towards each other!

Unfortunately, towards the end of the week, Elsa missed a day without wiping Firmo's back, applying him powder, making him drink milk, and combing his hair every break because Elsa was asked to clean Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's office! The next day, Firmo's mother showed up and berated Elsa! Firmo's mother blamed Elsa as the reason why her son caught cough and colds! Firmo's mother accused Elsa of being irresponsible! Firmo's mother then humiliated Elsa infront of the other boys who were in the Comfort Room! Firmo's mother Elsa ordered to stay away from Firmo! Elsa felt sad but she understood! That week Elsa learned that it's painful to love someone who could not take care of himself!

On Elsa's fifth week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Ronnel Ybias the Frat Boy! Ronnel is always with his Frat members! Ronnel treats Elsa kindly but he does what his Frat Brothers tells him to do! The Frat is headed by an over staying student named: Jess Gutierrez! Jess Gutierrez orders Ronnel to ask money from Elsa. Other members of the Fraternity are: Bryan Bragansia who calls Elsa names behind her back, Suzuki Takahasi who also took interest on Elsa but was only after Elsa's money, and Paul Mangunbabatu who threw stones at Elsa! Elsa treated Ronnel very well! Ronnel reciprocates but is always influenced by his Frat members! Ronnel is kind but does not know how to make his own decisions! In the end, Ronnel got in to trouble because Jess told him to drink beer in school! Ronnel was afraid of his parents and he ran away. Elsa never heard of Ronnel again! That week Elsa learned that its painful to love someone who loves his Frat members more!

On Elsa's sixth week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Marvin Gapon the Play Toy! Marvin is a good looking boy who is fond of making friends with girls! Marvin enjoys the idea of having girls adore him! Marvin also made Elsa fall in love with him! Marvin walked the corridor with Elsa. Marvin always visited Elsa inside the Comfort Room! Marvin always talks with Elsa. Elsa quickly fell for Marvin! But one day, before the week was over, Elsa over heard Marvin talking with some of his friends. Marvin was actually denying that he is close with Elsa. Elsa felt hurt! When Marvin saw her, the Play Toy pushed her and said: "Stay away from me! You are ugly!" Elsa did not say anything anymore! She just turned her back and continued cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room! That week Elsa learned how painful it is to be denied by someone whom one loves!

On Elsa's seventh week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Aaron Francisco the Hard Court Boy! Aaron is a member of the school's basketball team! Aaron always frequents the Boy's Comfort Room to change into his Basketball uniform. It was during one of those visit to the john that he noticed Elsa! Aaron soon took the courage to approach Elsa to ask her why she was cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room. Elsa told Aaron everything in details! Aaron felt bad for Elsa. Aaron then invited Elsa to watch his Basketball game! Elsa promised she will. On the day of the game, Elsa went to the Basketball Court to watch Aaron play. Unfortunately Aaron wasn't there! The game started and ended without Aaron! Elsa soon learned that Aaron felt ill before the game and he was rushed to the hospital! Elsa waited for Aaron to come back to school. But Aaron was never to come back! Elsa is all alone again! That week Elsa learned that it is painful to wait for someone who is not sure of ever returning!

On Elsa's eighth week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Rexie Salome the Boy Scout! Like any other Boy Scout, Rexie is always ready to help anybody in distress! This is what he showed on the day that he met Elsa. It was actually Elsa's second month as an Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room when an incident took place inside the Boy's Comfort Room! It was mid day and Elsa was getting ready to once again scrub the toilet bowls when suddenly Elsa slipped on the slippery floor. As Elsa slipped, the scrub flew from her hands! The scrub flew to the florescent light! The florescent light then fell straight down to Elsa! The shattered pieces of the florescent light wounded Elsa! It was a good thing that Rexie was inside the Comfort Room at that time! Upon witnessing what happened to Elsa, Rexie right away helped the Simple Schoolgirl! Elsa was flattered at what Rexie did for her! Elsa thanked Rexie for the help. Rexie said welcome but he did not ask Elsa her name and why she was inside the Boy's Comfort Room! Elsa thought that Rexie just forgot to ask those details! Soon after the incident in the Comfort Room, Elsa witnessed Rexie helping other students in school! Elsa tried to make her presence be noticed by Rexie but Rexie did not seem to remember her anymore! Towards the end of the week Elsa saw Rexie helping more people in school. Elsa also noticed that Rexie doesn't ask anyone whom he has helped for details! Elsa then understood! That week Elsa learned that it is painful to not know the difference between obligation and love!

On Elsa's ninth week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Allan Miko James Borcelis Alagao the Theater Boy! Allan Miko James Borcelis Alagao was at that time undergoing workshop in the school's Theater club! As part of the workshop, Allan Miko James was asked to approach Elsa and act as if he is courting her! Elsa did not know that Allan Miko James was just acting! Elsa fell for Allan Miko James's acting! Allan Miko James seeing that his acting was effective went on to make Elsa believe that he loves her! Allan Miko James continued with his acting for several days. But Allan Miko James told Elsa that their love must have conditions. First Allan Miko James said that they are an item only when they are inside the Boy's Comfort Room! Second Allan Miko James said that Elsa must give him money everyday! And third Allan Miko James said that Elsa must treat him like a King! Elsa agreed for a while thinking that Allan Miko James was just testing her love! But by the end of the week, Allan Miko James told Elsa that he wants more conditions to their love! When Elsa tried to tell Allan Miko James that conditions are not necessary, the Theater Boy got angry and left! That week, Elsa learned that it is very painful if a love has conditions!

On Elsa's tenth week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Marck Joeven Enriquez the Poor Boy! Joeven Enriquez is an Academic Scholar in St. John's Academy! As a Scholar he does not have to pay his Tuition fee! He also receives stipend from the school! Marck Joeven studies hard! Marck Joeven studies hard day and night! Marck Joeven studies hard to maintain his grades so that he won't lose his scholarship! Marck Joeven studies hard because he dreams of being successful when he grows older! When Marck Joeven saw Elsa cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, he right away go impressed but he does not understand why Elsa has to clean the Boy's Comfort Room! Marck Joeven then approached Elsa to ask her why she was cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room. Elsa told Marck Joeven everything! Marck Joeven got even more impressed! Marck Joeven understands why Elsa is doing all the sacrifices that she is doing! Marck Joeven soon promised Elsa that after dismissal, he will teach her the day's lesson! Marck Joeven did not treat Elsa during recess because he does not have money! Elsa understands Marck Joeven's situation! Marck Joeven also found out about Elsa's jobs! Marck Joeven also found out about Elsa's parents! Marck Joeven learned many things about Elsa! Marck Joeven accepted everything about Elsa! Marck Joeven then promised Elsa that he will fetch Elsa in Baseco Compound that Saturday! Elsa agreed! Unfortunately, that Saturday Marck Joeven did not show up at the place and the time that they have agreed on! Elsa soon found out that Marck Joeven met an accident! Marck Joeven was hit by a speeding Funeral Hearse! That week Elsa learned how painful it is to lose someone who has accepted everything about her!

On Elsa's eleventh week as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, she then met Reinier Manolo Viray the Dance Floor Boy! Reinier Manolo always drops by the Boy's Comfort Room to change into his dancing attire! Elsa always sees Reinier Manolo! Reinier Manolo is very popular in school! Reinier Manolo is adored by many girls! Reinier Manolo is also well liked by teachers! Reinier Manolo also has many friends! Elsa soon found herself liking Reinier as well! But Reinier Manolo did not seem to even notice her presence! One day, Reinier Manolo dropped by the Boy's Comfort Room. Elsa was very happy! Elsa became even happier when she saw Reinier Manolo smiled at her. Elsa thought that the reason why Reinier Manolo smiled at her is because the Dance Floor Boy has special feelings towards her! But Elsa soon realized that it was not the case! When Reinier Manolo was on his way out of the Comfort Room, Elsa saw Reinier Manolo giving everyone the same smile! That week Elsa learned how painful it is to love someone on her own!

And finally, on Elsa's third month or twelfth week or last five days as Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room at St. John's Academy, she became close friends with Cyril John Mondejar the School's Boy! Cyril John is the son of the school's Janitress! Cyril John is also employed at St. John's Academy as a Janitor! Cyril John is assigned to collect the garbage from all the classroms after school and he is also assigned to take care of the school garden! Cyril John has known Elsa since the first day when the Simple Schoolgirl started working as an Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room as part of the punishment given to her by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Cyril John saw how Elsa suffered! Cyril John was impressed at how Elsa handled all the troubles that went her way! Cyril John felt something very special about Elsa! Since the day Elsa started working as an Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room as part of the punishment given to her by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, Cyril John already wanted to be close with Elsa! Cyril John wanted to defend Elsa! Cyril John wanted to be Elsa's knight in shining armor! Cyril John however could not do all that he wanted because he is just the School's Boy!

When Cyril John found out that Elsa only has 5 days remaining as an Assistant Janitress cleaning the Boy's Comfort Room, he quickly planned to court Elsa! Cyril John wanted Elsa to know his genuine intentions! And so, Cyril gave Elsa flowers that he picked from the school garden! However the flowers did not even reach Elsa. Now what happened was: Cyril John was so ashame to hand the flowers personally to Elsa, so what he did was he left the flowers on Elsa's locker! But Ely Rose Apple along with her minions, saw that Cyril John left Elsa some flowers, and so, after Cyril John left, Ely Rose Apple took the flowers and dunked it straight into the garbage can! That afternoon, when Cyril John was collecting the garbage, he saw the flowers! He felt bad. But he did not approach Elsa to ask why the flowers were in the garbage can!

The next day, Cyril John left Elsa a love letter! Cyril John placed the love letter in Elsa's locker again! In the love letter, Cyril John confessed his love! Cyril John also wrote that he is willing to defend Elsa against everyone who hurts her! Cyril John also asked Elsa that he was willing to have his love tested! When Cyril John left after putting the love letter in Elsa's locker, Ely Rose Apple along with her minions quickly stole the letter! Ely Rose Apple then came up with a plan! She wrote a reply to Cyril John's letter and placed the same in Elsa's locker! That afternoon, when Cyril John was collecting the garbage already, he saw a letter with his name on it! Cyril John took the letter and started reading it! While reading the letter, Cyril John's face brightened up! Cyril John was very happy! That afternoon, Cyril John worked hard!

During the next few days, Cyril John was surprisingly more hard working! Cyril John worked without end! Cyril John almost didn't sleep! Cyril John also worked after his obligations in school! Cyril John vend cigarette! Cyril John vend Balot at Penoy! Cyril John also took small jobs at the nearby Junk Shop! Cyril John also run some errands from other neighbors in exchange for some money! Cyril John was obviously saving for something! Apparently, Cyril John thought that Elsa was testing his love! In the letter that Ely Rose Apple wrote, it is stated that: " If you really love me, You must give me a bouquet of red roses! You must also buy me a nice dress; an expensive bag; a pair of shoes; and a red headband! You must also treat me out in an expensive restaurant! You must do all these before the week ends! If you fail to do it, I will not talk to you anymore!

Cyril John believing that it was really Elsa who wrote the letter took the test of love! Unfortunately, before the week ended, Cyril John got sick from too much exhaustion! Cyril John was very pale, was coughing very badly, and was down with a fever when he was rushed to the hospital! On the very last hour of Elsa's punishment, Cyril John Mondejar was declared: DEAD!

"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation." - Kahlil Gibran

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The Contriving Clerks

1 Sympathetic statements on a very sad story that is nervously narrated by: Adnos Uyañe Plein

Albay province is located in the southern part of Luzon in the Philippines. The province is bounded by the Lagonoy Gulf and Camarines Sur on the north-northwest; the Pacific Ocean on the east; the province of Sorsogon on the south; and the Burias Pass on the southeast.

The province is generally mountainous with scattered fertile plains and valleys. Approximately 40 percent of the land area is flat, surrounded by the mountains of Masaraga, Malinao, Pantao, and Mayon Volcano, which is the most famous landform!

Albay is one of the most typhoon-prone provinces in the Philippines. The area is located on the typhoon belt and experiences this hazard at the average of two major destructive typhoons per year.

In November 2006, Albay was one of the areas hardest-hit by Typhoon Reming. Reming was one of the most deadly and destructive tropical cyclones to ever ravage the Philippines! The typhoon brought 466 millimeters of rainfall, the highest in 40 years. A number of communities in Albay were immediately buried under tons of rocks and mud that rushed down from the Mayon Volcano’s slopes during the typhoon. Aside from Reming, three other major typhoons hit Albay in 2006: Tropical Storm Caloy, Typhoon Milenyo, and Typhoon Seniang!

People in Albay, being no stranger to storms, know - based on experience rather than on theory - that before the heavy rainfall or the sometimes very destructive strong wind arrives, a period of calmness usually takes place! This is what we call "The lull or calm before the storm!" The lull or calm before the storm is a period before or during a storm when suddenly everything goes eerily quiet, and the air seems still and calm, then afterward heavy rainfall or strong winds lashes out its fury!

The lull or calm before the storm is also an idiomatic expression which means: " a quiet period just before a period of great activity or excitement." And it is with this idiomatic expression that I wish to describe Elsa's 1st day in the School Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning!

As you are very much aware by now, the story that you are currently reading, is a narration of a very sad story about the miserable life of a Simple Schoolgirl named Elsa Ragoza! The title above would definitely give you a hint that nothing in this story would be fairytale like! If the title of this story isn't enough, allow me then to rewrite what I wrote in The Lousy Letter: " It is my sad duty to inform you that this story is filled with sad, miserable and unpleasant events in the life of a young girl named Elsa! In this page you will also read about children going to bed hungry, love evaded women, truth clouded with doubts, stormy weather, ant bites, wet socks, old green jackets and crumpled paper. "

I know very well that I have given you - my dear readers - enough warning to be aware at this point that nothing in this story will ever favor Elsa! You should also be aware that when things appear to be going smoothly, it is actually just a very brief period of calmness that will precede great sadness and sorrow! Allow me to once again say that: Elsa's 1st day in the School Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning is just the calm before the storm!

Elsa's 1st day in the School Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning is just the calm before the storm because on Elsa's 2nd day in the Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning, she met Minerva Jalova's clerks! This meeting is the start of yet another set of agonies!

Allow me - at this point - to segue for a while so that I could introduce you to Minerva Jalova's clerks! Minerva Jalova, the Lenient Librarian has 3 clerks. The Lenient Librarian's clerks are friends of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! The Lenient Librarian's clerks who happens to be Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's friends - if I were to be really honest and straight to the point - lacks the following virtues: Chastity, Temperance, Charity, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, and Humility!

The names of Minerva Jalova's clerks are: Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita! Josefina's full name is Josefina Acedia Jalandoni. She is an old aged woman with very elongated chin. Josefina is very lazy! Josefina hates working. Josefina enjoys sleeping, specially during work hours! Klarizza's full name is Klarizza Luxuria Capaguin. She is a middle aged woman with very thick lips. Klarizza is very raunchy! Klarizza loves talking about sex. Klarizza enjoys reading pornographic magazines, specially during work hours! Emerlita's full name is Emerlita Invidia Cantos. She is also an old aged woman with very huge nose. Emerlita is always very envious of other people. Emerlita hates seeing others happy and contented. Emerlita enjoys talking ill about other people, specially during work hours! Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks have been friends for a very long time!

Now that I have already introduced you to Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita, the Contriving Clerks, allow me to continue on with my narration of Elsa's agonies by telling you what happen with the Simple Schoolgirl's 2nd day in the Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning!

It was actually exactly 7:30 in the morning when Elsa arrived at the School Library of St. John's Academy to report to Minerva Jalova. Miverva Jalova has been in her office since 7:00, this is 30 minutes early than her official schedule. Minerva Jalova has never been late with any of her obligations! Minerva Jalova knows the value of time! Minerva Jalova also believe in the old saying that: "Time is Gold!" Minerva Jalova always sees to it that she seizes every moment of each day! Minerva Jalova always does everything that she could do in all given opportunity!

Minerva Jalova, upon seeing Elsa arrive, talked with the Simple schoolgirl and once again assured Elsa that there is nothing that she should worry about while she is in the Library. Elsa was happy with what Minerva Jalova told her.

At around 8:34 in the morning, an hour and 4 minutes after the official time, the contriving clerks arrived! Josefina was looking sleepy as usual. Klarizza was talking about sex as usual. And Emerlita was talking ill about other people as usual. The Contriving Clerks did not bother to greet Minerva Jalova as they passed by the Lenient Librarian's office! The Contriving Clerks did not even offer an alibi as to why they all came in late. The Contriving Clerks obviously does not recognize Minerva Jalova's authority over them! The Contriving Clerks, unlike most of the school's employee, disrespect Minerva Jalova. The Contriving Clerks dispespect the Lenient Librarian because Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal is their friend!

Now, almost immediately after arriving, Josefina quickly grabbed the day's newspaper and pretended to read through the pages. The truth though is, Josefina already closed her eyes to take a nap! Klarizza on the other hand, quickly escaped to a vacant room near Minerva Jalova's office. There she pretended to be fixing something when infact she was already browsing over her newly bought pornographic magazine! Emerlita, unlike the other two, did not bother pretending! She shamelessly grabbed the phone and started dialing. She did not bother pretending to be talking with another clerk from another office in school. In a loud voice, Emerlita talked with her Kumare! Emerlita is heard talking about how envious she is of their other Kumare who has just bought a new dress!

Elsa, who was still inside Minerva Jalova's office when the Contriving Clerks arrived, witnessed the actions of the Contriving Clerks! Elsa got very frightened at what she just saw but she tried brushing her fears aside. Elsa, despite being scared at what she saw, still hoped that she could get along well with Minerva Jalova's clerks!

Minerva Jalova also noticed the frightened look at Elsa's face. Minerva Jalova understands Elsa's reactions. Minerva Jalova actually knows that the Contriving Clerks does not like her. Minerva Jalova knows the real attitude of Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita. Minerva Jalova knows that the reason why the Contriving Clerks behave the way they do towards her is because they are Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's friends. Minerva Jalova has seen many people like the Contriving Clerks! Minerva Jalova knows that people like the Contriving Clerks should be dealt with great patience!

Twenty seven minutes after the Contriving Clerks arrived, and seeing that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita have already "settled down" a bit, Minerva Jalova introduce the Simple Schoolgirl to Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita! At first Elsa was really very scared and was obviously trembling as she was introduced to Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita! But, when all three greeted her back with a "Hello!", Elsa started being optimistic again! Elsa, looking at the beauty behind the misery, quickly trusted Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita with just 1 Hello! Elsa then thought that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita only acted they way they did when they first arrived in the Library that day because they are very preoccupied! Elsa also thought that given the time, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita may turn out to be very kind people afterall! Elsa also thought that in the case of Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita, the term: "First impression is lasting." doesn't really apply!

After introducing Elsa to Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita, Minerva Jalova went back to her office. Before leaving Elsa with Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita, Minerva Jalova told Elsa to approach her if there is anything that she will be needing. Minerva Jalova also told Elsa that she does not have to work on anything that day. All that she needs to do is observe how Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita perform their individual task.

Elsa tried hanging along with Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita the whole day! Elsa tried observing how Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita perform their individual task. But Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita did not perform any task! Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita simply continued doing what they have started doing when they first arrived in the Library. Josefina continued sleeping, Klarizza continued browsing through her pornographic magazine, and Emerlita continued being busy talking with someone over the phone! Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks completely neglected their work that day, stopping only during scheduled break and lunch time!

Elsa, seeing that a lot of task has been left undone, started working around! Elsa did the clippings, a task that is assigned to Josefina. After doing the clippings, Elsa also arranged the books on the shelves, a task that is assigned to Klarizza. After arranging the books on the shelves, Elsa also wrapped some of the old books with transparent plastic cover, a task that was assigned to Emerlita! After doing all the tasks that was originally assigned to Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita, Elsa also cleaned the entire Library! By late afternoon, a few minutes before dismissal, the entire Library is already very well organized! But Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita did not even thank Elsa for taking over their jobs! Infact, before leaving the Library 10 minutes early that what is scheduled, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita all went inside Minerva Jalova's office to tell the Lenient Librarian that they have accomplished their assigned tasks, that they are all tired after doing extra task such as cleaning the entire Library, and that they are leaving the Library 10 minutes early to be able to rest!

Elsa saw Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks entered Minerva Jalova's office and she also overheard the 3 telling the Lenient Librarian that they have accomplished their task and that they are very tired and that they need to go home early to be able to rest. Elsa could have entered the office of Minerva Jalova to tell the Lenient Librarian that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita are not telling the truth, but the Simple Schoolgirl decided not to do that because she wanted to be friends with Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks! Elsa also thought that the reason why Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita claimed to have done what they did not do is because they are challenging her to work harder next time!

On Elsa's 3rd day in the School Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning, things went on as usual! And when I say "as usual" what I actually meant is that: Minerva Jalova still came in early and was very encouraging to Elsa, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks still arrived late, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks still ignored Minerva Jalova, Josefina still went to sleep, Klarizza still kept herself busy reading her pornographic magazine, and Emerlita still talked with someone over the phone and discussed how envious she is of her other friends who bought a new shoes!

Elsa, seeing that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks wont do their job as usual, went on to do what she did the day before! Elsa did the clippings, Elsa arranged the books on the shelves, Elsa wrapped old books with transparent plastic cover, and Elsa cleaned the entire Library! Elsa continued working without rest from 7:30 in the morning until around 2:58 in the afternoon! By 3:00 in the afternoon, Elsa was already very tired and very hungry but she did not complain! Elsa also did not go to Minerva Jalova's office to ask for anything! Elsa did not want to bother the Lenient Librarian. Elsa also did not bother Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks because she is wishing that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks would become her friends!

Elsa thought that her wish got granted when by 3:02 in the afternoon, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks all approached her and in unison said: "Hello"! Elsa immediately replied: "Hi!" Josefina, in a sleepy voice, then said: "You are very industrious. You have been working since this morning. " Klarizza the said: " You seem hungry already. Do you want to eat anything?" Elsa, thinking that saying "No" may turn Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks away, immediately said: "Yes!" Upon hearing Elsa say: "Yes", Emerlita then said: "Okay! Give us money and we will buy food for you!" Elsa searched her pocket and saw a 50 peso bill. Emerlita upon seeing Elsa's money quickly said: "Wow! you have enough money to buy Hamburger with coleslaw, Manggo Juice, and Siomai! Do you want those?" Elsa quickly said: "Yes please." Emerlita then said: "Okay, just wait for us. We will just buy foods for you!" After Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks left, Elsa felt very happy because Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks already spoke with her, seemed very much concerned, and even offered to buy her food.

After Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks left, Elsa continued doing stuffs in the Library. Elsa also waited for Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks to come back from buying her food. Elsa waited and waited but Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks did not come back quickly!

Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks has been gone for more that an hour already when they finally came back to the Library! As Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks entered the door, Elsa approached them with the original intention of helping carry the food that they bought! But Elsa noticed that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks did not seem to be carrying anything. Josefina and Klarizza then walked passed her without telling her anything. Emerlita then held out a flattened hamburger from her pocket and gave this to Elsa saying: "Elsa! Here is your hamburger! Eat!" Elsa said: "Thank You." Emerlita then said: "Oh! By the way, I forgot to bring you Manggo Shake and Siomai! I also forgot to bring your change!" Elsa just smiled and said: "It's okay." Elsa did not complain, Elsa just thought the reason why Emerlita forgot to buy her Manggo Shake and Siomai is because she is very busy."

On Elsa's 4th day in the School Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning, things again went on as usual! Situation inside the School Library of St. John's academy was basically the same except that before lunch time at around 11:38 in the morning, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks approached Elsa again and with a smile and in unison said: "Hello!" Josefina in a sleepy voice then said: "You are a very diligent girl." Klarizza said: "Because you are a very diligent girl, we will reward you!" Emerlita the said: "The reward is that we will treat you for lunch!" Upon hearing what Emerlita just said, Elsa's face brightened up! Elsa became very excited! Emerlita continued to say: "We have ordered for lunch in Shakey's! We ordered for Mojos, Garlic Bread, Spaghetti with meatballs, Chicken, Hawaiian Delight Thick Crust Pizza, Soft drinks and Dessert!" Elsa got even more excited! Elsa has never tried eating Mojos, Garlic Bread, Spaghetti with meatballs, Chicken, Hawaiian Delight Thick Crust Pizza, Soft drinks and Dessert from Shakey's! Emerlita noticed Elsa's excited face and so she went on saying: "We will treat you because you've been very industrious and we want you to be our friend! But, we want to ask you a favor. Is it okay if we ask for a simple favor?" Elsa immediately said: "Yes!" Emerlita, with a smile, then said: "Since we know that you are working at Mang Joey's gotohan and it is pay day tomorrow, could you treat us for lunch too?" Elsa, making no second thoughts, right away said: "Sure!" Emerlita then said: "That's great! You are not only a very industrious girl! You are also very kind! If you treat us tomorrow, you will be our friend!" Elsa smiled. Emerlita then left. While Emerlita walked away, Elsa was very optimistic! She was also very happy on the thought of having new friends! Elsa decided that she will allot a portion of her salary from Mang Joey to treat Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita for lunch! She also decided to suspend her plans of buying a new slippers first so that she could treat Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita!

When the foods from Shakey's arrived, Elsa got really excited! The smell of the food made her even more excited. But as the delivery boy hands over the foods to Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks, Elsa noticed that there were only 3 sets of packed foods. Elsa did not ask Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks why this is so. Elsa thought that it is very rude to do so! Anyway, immediately after the delivery boy left, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks quickly ran to the stockroom of the library. There Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks quickly ate the food! Elsa waited for Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita to approach and offer her food but none of the the Contriving Clerks bothered to call her. After 1 hour and 12 minutes, Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita came out of the stock room! Josefina quickly sat down and took a nap, Klarizza quickly grabbed her pornographic magazine and started browsing, Emerlita went straight to where the phone was and dialed a number. As Emerlita was waiting for someone to pick the phone, she saw Elsa and with a surprised expression said: "Oh! I'm so sorry! I forgot to call you! There are no more foods! It's such a pity that you missed lunch! You should have tasted how delicious the Mojos, Garlic Bread, Spaghetti with meatballs, Chicken, Hawaiian Delight Thick Crust Pizza, Soft drinks and Dessert are! Anyway, don't forget! You made a promise! You will treat us tomorrow, right?!" Elsa just smiled and said: "Yes." Elsa did not feel bad that Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks did not call her for lunch! Elsa just believed what Emerlita told her. Elsa just thought that Emerlita really forgot to call her.

On Elsa's 5th day in the School Library as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning, things did not go on as usual! Minerva Jalova was not in her office while Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks were already in when Elsa arrived at exactly 7:30 in the morning! Elsa also noticed that Josefina was wide awake and that she was already working her clippings! Elsa also noticed that Klarizza was not holding her pornographic magazine instead she is very busy arranging the books on the shelves! Elsa also noticed that Emerlita was not talking with someone over the phone, instead she was very busy wrapping old books with plastic cover. As Elsa approached the table where Emerlita was working, the Contriving Clerks paused from what they were doing, smiled, and in unison said: "Hello!". Elsa smiled back and said: "Hi." Josefina then said, in a lively voice: "Elsa! You are a very kind girl! I want to be your friend!" Klarizza then said: "I also want to be your friend!" Emerita then in a very quick succession said: "We all want to be your friend! By the way, you might be wondering where Minerva Jalova is. Well, she can't come to work today. She called in sick. She is down with fever. It's so sad that she is not around for your treat! Oh! By the way, today is your payday right? You promised to treat us for lunch, right? You are a very kind girl, right? You want us to be your friend, right?" Elsa tried to understand what Emerlita was saying! Elsa tried to absorb all that was suddenly happening around her. Elsa was overwhelmed with what was transpiring, but she still managed to say: "Yes."

After hearing Elsa said "Yes", Josefina immediately offered Elsa a seat. Klarizza approached Elsa and said: "You don't have to work today. You have done so much in this library. You are very industrious." Emerlita then said: "I was not wrong when I told Josefina and Klarizza that you can be a very good friend! Just sit down okay? We will do all the job today! Besides you shouldn't be doing our job because you are only a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning! Oh! By the way, I already ordered for food! It will be delivered before lunch!" Elsa was still very much overwhelmed at what was suddenly happening but she still managed to nod and say: "Yes."

The whole morning Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks kept themselves very busy! Elsa tried helping but Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks refused being helped. At around 11:46 in the morning, Josefina approached Elsa and then she said in a lively voice: "You are a very generous girl!" Klarizza then said: "I hope that we will be friends forever!" Emerlita then said: "It will be lunch anytime soon! The foods that I ordered will arrive within 14 minutes! You promised that this will be your treat, right? You promised to treat us because you want us to be your friend, right? You will treat us today because it's your payday, right? Oh! by the way, do you have your money with you? The delivery boy will arrive at anytime!" Elsa once again tried to catch up with what Emerlita was saying, but even if she was confused, Elsa still managed to say: "Yes."

After 14 minutes, at exactly 12:00 noon, a delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza arrived! Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks quickly approached the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza. Elsa heard the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza saying: "Good afternoon Ma'am! Delivery for Miss Elsa. This is an order for: 2 Boxes of Huge sized Anchovy Lovers Pizza; 2 Boxes of Huge sized New York's Finest; 2 Boxes of Huge sized Manhattan Meatlovers; Hot wings; Ham and Cheese Calzone; Spaghetti and Meatballs; Charlie Chan Chicken Pasta; Twice-baked potato halves; 1 Pint Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, and Pistachio Ice Cream; and 6 bottles of Huge Drinks!" Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks quickly grabbed all the foods and hurriedly ran to the stockroom leaving the Delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza and Elsa behind.

The Delivery Boy from Yellow Cab Pizza was surprised at how Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks behaved. The Delivery Boy from Yellow Cab Pizza was speechless for 2 minutes and 34 seconds. After 2 minutes and 34 seconds, the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza came back to his senses and when he saw Elsa he said: "Hi! I'm looking for Miss Elsa." Elsa replied by saying: "Hello, I am Elsa." The delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza then said: "Oh! So you are Miss Elsa! Here, this is the bill for the foods that you just ordered." Elsa took the bill. Elsa got shocked upon seeing the total amount that she has to pay! the total amount of the foods that Emerlita ordered was 8,765 php! Elsa was speechless and motionless for a while! Elsa just stared at the bill. Elsa was very worried! Elsa only earned 8,800 from Mang Joey! Elsa needs to give her parents money! Suddenly the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza said: "Miss Elsa, I really need to go. I still have many other deliveries! Can I have the payment now?" Upon hearing the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza, Elsa suddenly came back to her senses and with a trembling hand took her wallet and handed the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza the amount of 8,800. The delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza smiled and said: "Thank You Miss Elsa." Elsa waited for her change when suddenly Emerlita, who was still in the stock room, yelled: "Keep the change!" The delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza then said: "Thank you very much!" Elsa was once again speechless and motionless as the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza turned to leave.

Elsa stared at the delivery boy from Yellow Cab Pizza as he walked away with her hard earned money! As she watched the delivery boy from Yellow cab Pizza leave, Elsa was also thinking of how to explain to Fanchita Isidra and Rodelio Jay that she does not have any more money! Elsa was also thinking of how her parents would react upon finding out that she has already spent her money for a blow out to her friends! Elsa was still imagining how her parents would react when suddenly Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks walked passed her. Josefina in a sleepy voice said: "Move aside." Klarizza said: "I am very full! The food is very delicious!" Emerlita said: "Oh! I'm so sorry! I forgot to call you! We already ate! the food was very delicious. Move aside! And by the way, just stay here and we will just brush our teeth!" Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks then left Elsa alone in the Library!

As Elsa watched Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks walk away, Elsa tried to think of how to tell her parents that she has no more money. Elsa then walked back inside the Library. As she walked by the stockroom, Elsa saw that there were still untouched boxes of pizza and still unwrapped foods. Elsa thought of getting herself some food. Elsa entered the stockroom and took a spoon, fork, and a paper plate. Elsa looked at the foods that was delivered. Elsa could not recognize what most of the foods were. Elsa is not used to eating expensive foods! Elsa only recognized the Pizza. Elsa decided that she will eat Pizza. Elsa opened a box of Pizza. Elsa noticed that the Pizza was still untouched and that the slices were still intact. Elsa took a knife. Elsa was about to get her self a piece of pizza when suddenly Josefina, Klarizza, and Emerlita or the Contriving Clerks screamed from behind her! Josefina yelled: "Oh no! Don't steal my foods! I will bring those home!" Klarizza screamed: " Oh no! Don't touch those foods! Those are mine!" and Emerlita hollered: "Guard! Help us!" Suddenly Omario Bulatao, the Groveling Guard appeared, grabbed Elsa's hands and in a very loud voice said: "Violation number 7: Illegal possession of deadly Weapon"!

"The Seven DEADLY SINS: Wealth without work; Pleasure without conscience; Science without humanity; Knowledge without character; Politics without principle; Commerce without morality; and Worship without sacrifice!" - Mahatma Gandhi

Lachrymose Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Lenient Librarian

3 Sympathetic statements on a very sad story that is nervously narrated by: Adnos Uyañe Plein

Ever since I started the narration of Elsa's sad life, never was there really a time when I felt that I was truly appreciative of the Grown-Ups! I can enumerate several reasons why this is so, and I could always justify - a million times over - why I feel unappreciative of them!

As I have said in The Sorrowful Salutation: "I have been with the sad company of the Grown-ups, and I know how they think! I know how they look at things!" I also know how they say one thing but mean the complete opposite! For instance, when a Grown-Up says: "You look really beautiful." what he or she actually meant with that is: "You could actually look better if you had your hair done this or that way."

Grown-Ups are dishonest, impatient, insincere, cruel, ill tempered, materialistic, opportunist, manipulative, evil, sinister, and... I could actually go on forever listing down all the bad things about them if only the chance permits!

But, in the spirit of fairness, allow me to also say that: "There is always an exemption to the rule." In every 9 million Grown-Ups there would be 1 who is different! Someone who - because of age has learned to be - patient, sincere, kind, helpful, and lenient! Minerva Jalova, the Librarian of St. John's Academy is 1 in the 9 million.

Minerva Jalova - allow me to say - was once a Student Leader in her youth. She once rallied the streets of Mendiola for a cause! She once marched the streets of Makati and Katipunan with other Student Activists for Freedom, Equality, Women's and Children's Rights, and No Tuition Fee Hike. Minerva Jalova was a Graduate of The University of the Philippines with a course in Library Science. She graduated with Honors. And believe me when I say that there is a lot of good things about Minerva Jalova! Behind the stiff and conservative looking wardrobe is a very nice person! I promise that you'll get to know Minerva Jalova - the Lenient Librarian - a lot better as I go on with my actual narration of Elsa's very sad life in this Episode.

Allow me, at this point, to pick up from the last part of the episode entitled: The Pinheaded Principal. The part when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal appeared in the School Canteen where a melee was going on and approached Elsa, who was at that time being accused by the Groveling Guard of committing Violation Number 6: Estafa.

Now upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal say: "Definitely! Hey you! The only one of you! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right Now!", the Groveling Guard quickly grabbed Elsa and dragged the Simple Schoolgirl to the Principal's office. While Omario Bulatao walked away and tagging Elsa along with him, the Canteen Manager and the Canteen Cashier continued hurling unwashed plates, spoons, forks, water glasses and pitchers while repeatedly calling Elsa: "Ugly, stupid, poor!"

Inside the Principal's Office, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal - upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who at that time was disguised as a shadow - violently tied Elsa's hands with blue colored nylon cord and covered Elsa's mouth with a locally bought packaging tape. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then said: "Definitely! You bald girl is very bad! You already have six violations in my prestigious school! What is your reason? Answer me in simple English only!" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal waited for an answer but Elsa could not give her reasons because her mouth was covered with packaging tape. When Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did not hear Elsa speak she then said: "Definitely! Are you deaf? Did you hear me? Why did you not answer me in simple English only? Are you making me angry? Now, answer me! Why do you keep making violations in my prestigious school"? Again, Elsa could not speak, she could also not make gestures as her hands were tied up. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then got very furious and she said: "Definitely! You are making me more angry! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right now!"

Again, upon hearing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal said: "I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right now!" the Groveling Guard, who was at that time still inside the Principla's office, immediately ran to the classroom of the Terrible Teacher to relay what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just said. It was the Terrible Teacher who then immediately ran to the Gotohan of the Misinformed Master to tell Mang Joey that Elsa committed Violation Number 6: Estafa and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal wants to meet Elsa's parents. Mang Joey, the Misinformed Master believing that Elsa was already an orphan decided to close the Gotohan and then proceeded to the Principal's office.

Back in the Principal's Office, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal - upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who was at that time still disguised as a shadow - said: "Definitely! You are not the Parents tomorrow right now of this bald girl who is very bad! You are Mang Joey the owner of the Gotohan which is located near my prestigious school! Why did you come here?" Mang Joey replied: "I'm very sorry, but Elsa is already an Orphan and since she works for me, please allow me to be her guardian." Elsa heard Mang Joey and she wanted to explain that she is not yet a complete orphan. But Elsa could not speak as her mouth was still covered with packaging tape. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal upon hearing what Mang Joey said, replied: "Definitely! Sure why not? Now I am warning you that if Elsa commits 2 more violations in my prestigious school, I will expel her! Do you understand me?" Mang Joey simply answered: "Yes, Miss Hampto. And I am very sorry." Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal still upon the instructions of Mrs. Lucy Fernan who was at that time still disguised as a shadow then said: "Definitely! I forgive you but I will not yet forgive Elsa! I will punish her again! She will now be assigned as a Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library! Do you understand?" Mang Joey simply said: "Yes, Miss Hampto."

Now it was because of the said punishment that Elsa, the Simple schoolgirl met Minerva Jalova, the Lenient Librarian. The next week immediately after the Canteen incident, Elsa was to start reporting to the Linient Librarian named Minerva Jalova. Elsa was assigned to clean the Library from start of classes until dismissal and the said punishment will be effective for a whole week! This simply means that Elsa was not to attend classes again!

Anyway before I go on, allow me to tell you that because of the new punishment on Elsa, the Terrible Teacher, the Brattish Bully, the Contemptible Classmates, the Groveling Guard, and the Pinheaded Principal along with her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan were all very happy! The Terrible Teacher was happy because, without Elsa in her class, she could now ask all her students to give her gifts! The Brattish Bully was happy because she could take a rest from her evil antics! The Contemptible Classmates were happy because they too could take a rest from following Ely Rose Apple's evil schemes on Elsa! The Groveling Guard was happy because he could concentrate on roving the school grounds without thinking of new violations that he could accuse Elsa of. And the Pinheaded Principal, along with her tutor named Mrs. Lucy Fernan, was very happy because she felt that she has done a good job in making sure that her prestigious school was properly managed!

The Misinformed Master though, unlike the other characters that I have already mentioned in the sentence above, was not really very happy with the new punishment on Elsa. He was not very happy because he felt very sad for Elsa. He was not very happy because he felt that the punishment was way too harsh. He was not very happy because he thought that Elsa would grow very exhausted by cleaning the Library from start of classes until dismissal time. This means that by the time that Elsa would be working at his Gotohan in the graveyard shift, the Simple Schoolgirl may already be too tired to be able work as well as she use to. This thought really saddened Mang Joey a lot! Allow me now to say that: "Mang Joey is really a very kind man, and his only flaw is that he loves money a lot!" This means that, if Elsa wont work as well as she use to, the Gotohan might loose part of its earnings!

Anyway, going back to the story. On Elsa's first day as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library, she was very nervous! Elsa was very worried because she thought that Minerva Jalova might hurt her too. Elsa was very tense because she thought that Minerva Jalova might throw and hit her with heavy books. Elsa was very anxious because she thought that Minerva Jalova might call her stupid, ugly, and poor. But, Elsa's fears all vanished when Minerva Jalova spoke to her.

On Elsa's first day as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library, Minerva Jalova invited Elsa in her office and talked to Elsa very kindly and told the Simple Schoolgirl: "Good Morning Elsa. I already heard about your story. I was told why you were sent here. And I was also told that you were assigned as Student Assistant Majoring in Cleaning at the School Library for a week. Now, please don't be frightened and don't worry. I know Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto very well. And I have to be honest with you. I don't really agree with her. I don't think you deserve this punishment. But what can we both do? Let us just let her be. Just report here everyday. You don't have to do all the job here. I'll also ask your classmates to lend you their notebooks so that you could also catch up on your lessons. Please don't hesitate to tell me what else you need, okay?"

Upon hearing what Minerva Jalova just said, and upon realizing how kind Minerva Jalova is, Elsa's face brightened up! Elsa felt glad! Elsa was happy that after encountering several sinister characters in her stay at St. John's Academy, she finally met someone who seems really very accommodating, affable, affectionate, agreeable, altruistic, amiable, approachable, auspicious, beneficent, benevolent, charitable, commendable, compassionate, congenial, considerate, cordial, decent, estimable, excellent, fair, fine, forgiving, friendlike, friendly, generous, gentle, good, good-hearted, good-natured, good-tempered, goodly, gracious, helpful, humane, humanitarian, kindhearted, lenient, loving, merciful, nice, noble, openhearted, patient, sisterly, softhearted, sympathetic, tenderhearted, thoughtful, understanding, unhostile, unresentful, unrevengeful, very good, virtuous, warm, warm-hearted, warmhearted, well-intentioned, and well-meaning!

Now at this point of the story, allow me to say that Elsa was absolutely right when she thought that she finally found someone who is the complete opposite of all the other sinister characters that she has already met so far in St. John's Academy! Allow me to also tell you about Minerva Jalova's own encounter with Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. Telling you - my dear readers - of these details will make you understand why, on the 4th paragraph of this episode, I mentioned that Minerva Jalova is an exemption to the rule!

Let me begin with: "The Most Outstanding Teacher incident." Now you should know that every School Year, St. John's Academy gives out an award for The Most Outstanding Teacher. The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding should pass several criteria! The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding should be Kind, Intelligent, Hard Working, Approachable, Morally Upright, is active in Community Service, and is Well-Loved by his or her students! The Teacher who is declared as Most Outstanding will be given a cash prize, a salary increase, a golden trophy, a certificate of recognition, and a gift check worth 1,234.50 in Robinson's Department Store!

The previous winners of The Most Outstanding Teacher award were all very much deserving! The previous winners were all very Kind, Intelligent, Hard Working, Approachable, is Morally Upright, is active in Community Service, and is Well-Loved by his or her students! So, everyone in school was expecting for someone no less! At the beginning of the School Year, teachers of St. John's Academy were already rooting for Mrs. Remedios Purificasion as the recipient of the Most Outstanding Teacher award! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion has been with St. John's Academy for a long time! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion is well loved not only by her students but by all her co teachers as well! Mrs. Remedios Purificasion has all the qualifications for being The Most Outstanding Teacher. However, when Mrs. Clarita D. Castor moved to St. John's Academy, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately wanted to declare the Terrible Teacher as the Most Outstanding Teacher.

Many teachers reacted to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's hasty and unfair decision and they demanded for an explanation. When Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal learned of the teacher's reaction, she called for a meeting. The meeting was to be held in the school library. Minerva Jalova, being part of the school management was also asked to be present during the meeting. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, with the help of her tutor, Mrs Lucy Fernan, prepared for the meeting.

On the day of the meeting, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal arrogantly delivered her prepared speech. Her tutor, Mrs. Lucy Fernan was also present during the meeting - she was disguised as an Artificial Flower on a vase! The bottom line of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's 2 hours and 45 minute speech is that: Mrs. Clarita D. Castor is very much deserving of the award as The Most Outstanding Teacher simply because: "They are friends!"

At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal thought that she did very well with her speech and that the teachers wont be asking any question. But when the teachers started questioning her if her basis has logic, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to panic. She panicked because her tutor can't coach her since she was disguised as an Artificial Flower on a vase. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just stared blankly at the teachers. The teachers waited for an answer but Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just stood there infront of the teachers without saying anything! The teachers started to get impatient.

Minerva Jalova, seeing that the teachers were starting to get really exasperated and sensing that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was lost for words again, immediately stood up and calmly repeated the teacher's question to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. But when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal heard Minerva Jalova repeat the question, she took offense, pinpointed, and screamed at Minerva Jalova saying: "Definitely! You are a very bad Librarian! You are not the Principal of this prestigious school! You are only the very bad Librarian! You should ask me question in simple English only! I will not answer the question because I am tired!" After saying this, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal walked out from the Library carrying with her the flower vase.

Minerva Jalova was left with the teachers. Minerva Jalova kept her cool. Minerva Jalova knew that reacting on what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did to her would only stir more chaos! Minerva Jalova, in her youth, has seen many leaders like Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal. Minerva Jalova knew that leaders like Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal should be dealt with patience. And so, Minerva Jalova, after being treated badly by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, calmed herself and tried to pacify the teachers. Minerva Jalova promised the teachers that she will talk with Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal again and demand for a clear answer. The teachers of St. John's Academy listened to her. The teachers of St. John's Academy listened to Minerva Jalova because they respect her. The teachers of St. John's Academy respect Minerva Jalova because unlike Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she actually showed how a Grown-Up should conduct herself infront of other Grown-Ups!

Let me now tell you of the: "The Foreign Student incident"! Now it was actually the Second Quarter of the School Year and at the same time St. John's Academy's celebration of the English and Book week when this story took place! At that time, all the teaching and non teaching personnel of the school and students were in the school's gymnasium watching the oratorical contest when a foreign couple from New Castle in England named Mr. Stephen Sullivan and Mrs. Beth Sullivan along with their son named Lee Sullivan went to St. John's Academy. The British couple are considering St. John's Academy as the new school of their son Lee. The British Couple wanted to gauge the school first and wanted to speak with someone from the school administration. Now since everyone is in the school gymnasium, it was only Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal who was available to speak to the British couple.

At first, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was very excited to meet with the British couple. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was also very excited on the thought of having a foreign student in her prestigious school. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal tidied up her office before meeting with the British couple. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal also brushed her teeth so that she'll have fresh breath. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was in the act of ordering her tutor, who at that time was disguised as a picture frame on the wall, to turn into a shadow when the British couple suddenly entered her office. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was left without a choice but to smile and offer the British couple a seat. But as the British couple take their seat, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to get really very nervous because her tutor was still disguised as a picture frame hanging on the wall!

The British couple smiled at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal and then told her how impress they are at the tidiness of the school. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal smiled back and nodded her head as a response. But the truth is, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was already struggling to understand the accent. The British couple, in an authentic British accent, then said: "Hiya! now what it is, we are considering of enrolling our son here named Lee in your stupendous school! We see that everything seem spot on! However, there are some things that we would like to be assured of. Is it okay if we ask several questions about your school?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got really nervous but, in a stammering voice, still managed to say: "Definitely!"

The British couple were very glad at Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's response and so they went on to ask: "Do you offer extra curricular activities to students so that they'll learn how to hone their individual talents and skill?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal answered: "Definitely!" The British couple looked at each other smiled and nodded their head as if to show that the are impressed! The British couple then continued to ask: "Do you have highly qualified teachers who are ready to respond to the challenges of various students with multiple intelligence and who would make sure that students are given proper training and would acknowledge individual differences?" At this point, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to get really nervous. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started to perspire! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was hoping that she had her tutor with her. But, even if Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal didn't fully understand what the British couple just asked her, she still managed to say: "Definitely"!

The British couple looked at each other. They seemed unconvinced. They sensed something wrong. They were not sure however what it was. Then they continued to ask: "Could you please tell us how you deal with students who are misbehaving?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, immediately answered: "Definitely!" The British couple nodded in responce and waited for Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal to expound on her answer but Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal remained quiet and was obviously very jittery and was perspiring profusely! The British couple then said: "So, Can you tell us how?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's nose started to bleed but she still managed to say: "Definitely!" The British couple noticed that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's nose was already bleeding and they got very concerned and so they asked: "Are you okay?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal replied: "Definitely!" The British couple looked at each other and got very scared, and so they said: "You don't seem okay! Are you sick?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal replied: "Definitely!" The British couple were taken aback! Then they asked: "Do you have AH1N1 or Swine Flu Virus?" Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal answered: "Definitely!" The British couple turned pale with shock, panicked and hurriedly ran out of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal office!

While the British couple ran away, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was left wondering why the British couple ran away from her. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal was infact clueless why the British couple hurriedly left. It was her tutor Mrs. Lucy Fernan, who has at this point turned into a shadow, who told her that the reason why the British couple ran away from her was because the foreign couple finds her face horrible! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately believed Mrs. Lucy Fernan! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal did not even suspect that it was her answers and her bleeding nose that frightened the British couple!

Mrs. Lucy Fernan went on to tell Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal that the British couple does not like talking with her because her breath stinks! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal right away believed her tutor. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal got very mad and so she hurriedly went to the school gymnasium where a program for the English and Book Week was being held. Upon entering the School Gymnasium, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal started hearing everyone speaking in English. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal nose started to bleed again! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal then ascended the stage and grabbed the microphone from the emcee of the program! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, upon the coaching of her tutor who was at that time disguised as a shadow, then said: "Definitely! Hey you! The all of you! I am the very good Principal of this prestigious school! I will declare that no more school program from now on! No more English and Book week, no more United Nations Day, no more Nutrition month, no more Intramural, no more Acquaintance Party, and no more JS Prom! I will allow only Graduation Day and Linggo ng Wika! Stop this program! The all of you, go back to your classroom immediately, right now!"

All the teachers were shocked at what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just did and said! The students were unhappy with what Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal just declared! The students started booing Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Some students threw crumpled papers to Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal immediately left the school gymnasium! Miverva Jalova, who was the chairperson of the English and Book week took the microphone and calmly addressed the audience saying: "Dear Teachers and Dear Students, I need your attention please." The audience, upon hearing Minerva Jalova started to quiet down and listened. Minerva Jalova then said: "I know you are all very upset at what you just heard. But I'm sure our Principal has a reason why she said those. May I please ask all of you to just relax and I will speak with the Principal. I will also ask her if she could allow us to have other school programs and activities. Now, Dear Teachers kindly escort your students back to your classrooms and for the meantime resume your classes while I speak with our Principal."

The teachers of St. John's Academy listened and followed Minerva Jalova. The Teachers asked their students to line up and proceed back to their classroom. The students quietly formed a line and headed back to their classroom. The students did not react violently at the orders of Minerva Jalova. The students wholeheartedly obeyed Minerva Jalova. The students of St. John's Academy obeyed Minerva Jalova because they could feel that Minerva Jalova meant well. The students of St. John's Academy respects Minerva Jalova. The students of St. John's Academy looks up to Minerva Jalova because unlike Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal, she actually showed how a Grown-Up should conduct herself infront of other Grown-Ups and most specially infront of the young ones!

"In times of trouble leniency becomes crime." - Proverb Quotes

Lachrymose Labels: , , , , , , , , , ,

The Pinheaded Principal

1 Sympathetic statements on a very sad story that is nervously narrated by: Adnos Uyañe Plein

If an award for "The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy" will someday ever be given, it will be wise that the Grown-Ups, who are known to have devised or formulated a scientific way on how to choose the best among a roster of already best, consider - without second thoughts - of awarding it to the School Principal of St. John's Academy named: Glenda Hampto!

Glenda Hampto deserves the award: "The Brightest School Principal in the entire World and its nearby Galaxy" for two reasons! Firstly because Glenda Hampto is undeniably very bright! Second and most importantly, Glenda loves wearing Safety Reflector Vest!

Now again, If you are a Grown-Up who finds my reasons for suggesting that the award for being "The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy" be given to Glenda Hampto really senseless, allow me to explain that the word BRIGHT in this episode is actually an adjective that means: "Light - characterized by or emitting light. Having lots of light either natural or artificial such as the sun and those safety reflector vest worn by traffic officers." I didn't mean: "Intelligence - having the capacity for thought and reason especially to a high degree."

Glenda, in actual fact, is far from being intelligent! She was almost 40 years old when she finally earned her Bachelor's Degree in Education Major in Values Education. She took up Elementary for 20 years, High School for 10 years and College for 10 years. Now if you are a Grown-Up who maybe wondering why it took Glenda that long to finish her studies, allow me now to explain why by telling you more details about Glenda. So, please be patient.

It is important, right here - right now, that you know that Glenda was born in Baranggay Capipiza Kanluran Tanza Cavite. She grew up among the Carabaos, Goats, Chickens, Ducks, Bayawaks, and Kuligligs of the said Province in the Philippines. Glenda grew up learning how to operate the Araro and she also knows how to sail the Bangka! During her spare time, Glenda strolled along the Ricefields, the Waterfalls, and the Beach of the tiny and sleepy Town located in the Western part of Tanza Cavite called Capipiza! It is also in Capipiza where Glenda studied Elementary. Actually, Glenda never had any interest with school. Her only dream was to be a Lady Farmer or be a Fisher Woman in Capipiza! But her father, who was the richest man in Capipiza and is actually the Town's Captain, forced her to go to school.

Glenda was actually at a normal age when she first set foot in school as a Preschool Student in the Town's Day Care Center. She was still at the right age when she went on to study Elementary. Glenda, being the only child of the Town's Captain, had everything that a student could ask for! She had everything except the intelligence to survive life in school. Thanks though to her father's money and influence, Glenda was able to - somehow - get through school. Glenda's father would approach Teachers and School Officials if he sees that Glenda needs some help, specially in passing!

Anyway, Glenda - despite the help that she gets from her father - still struggled in school! Glenda struggled in school because she had no interest with Reading, Mathematics, Arts, Music, History and Science. During classes her mind is occupied with thoughts of the Rice Field and the Sea. Because of her intellectual liabilities - and despite her father's help - Glenda was able to complete the whole Elementary Program - a School Curricular Program which normally takes only 6 years - for 10 long years. Unfortunately, a week before her graduation, it was discovered that there was a discrepancy in the name that she had been using in all her school records with her actual name in her birth certificate!

It was discovered that Glenda's real name is Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto. This prompted the school officials to force Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto to repeat the whole Elementary Program! Glenda and her Father felt very sad about the situation and they both cried for 2 minutes and 36 seconds. However, Glenda's father did not question the school official's decision.
He felt that it was partly his fault. He forgot to tell Glenda what her real name was! He forgot that Glenda is just a nickname. A name that he was so fond of. A name that he gave his daughter as nickname.

Anyway, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto studied Elementary again - for another 10 years! At the end of the 10 years, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was finally able to graduate without any hitch! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto then studied High School in Amaya School of Home and Industries which is located in Baranggay Amaya still in Tanza Cavite. Amaya School of Home and Industries or ASHI is just 1 Tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza.

Now, it is important that I tell you at this point of the story that: It is during High School when Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto started wearing Safety Reflector Vest. It was actually her father who told her to do so. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was asked to wear Safety Reflector Vest because she was studying in Amaya School of Home Industries already. And the said School is 1 Tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza! This means that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto had to cross the street! At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was not comfortable wearing the Safety Reflector Vest, but after seeing the benefit of it, she decided to waer it everytime she leaves home and she also decided to make it her fashion statement!

Anyway, going back, I have to tell you that after repeating Elementary due to discrepancy in the name used as compared to the actual name in the Birth Certificate, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto became more careful! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto made sure that she used her real name in all of her school records. But despite being careful with the use of her name, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto still had one problem. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto struggled in school. She could not cope with the demands of High School. She gets frightened with numbers! And, she did not understand Big Words in English. To hide her lack of intellectual prowress, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto decided to always utter the word: Definitely! this way, she thought she will sound intelligent.

Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto tried to pass all her subjects in school, but just like when she was still in Elementary, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto - despite all the help that she got from her father - also completed High School for 10 long years. Allow me now to put in details how this happened! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was a Freshman for 2 years, a Sophomore for 3 years, a Junior for 2 years, and a Senior for 3 years! The reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto keeps repeating each Year Level is because she could not speak English well. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto also could not understand long sentences in English. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto does not even know the meaning of simple English words like: Brain, Study, Intelligent, and Honor. Infact, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto thought that those words were examples of Fishes in the Sea! Another reason why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto failed in High School is because she was always being sent home. Now I also have to tell you that everytime she hears some one speak in English and everytime she tries to speak in English, her nose would mysteriously begin to bleed! So her Teachers thought that she was sick! So these are the reasons why Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto completed High School for 10 long years. By the way, High School Course in the Philippines only takes 4 years to complete!

After graduating from High School, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was enrolled in Western Colleges. A small College in Naic Cavite. Western Colleges is just 1 tricycle and 1 Mazda ride away from Capipiza. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father also decided that she takes up Bachelor of Education as a course. Allow me to point out that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was from that era when parents of not-so-intelligent children would require or force their children to: "Just take up Bachelor of Education and be a Teacher only." And so, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto knowing her own capacity agreed to take up the course that her father wants her to take up.

At first Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto tried to Major in English because she was hoping that by doing so, She will begin to learn the meaning of simple words such as: Brain, Study, Intelligent, and Honor! She was also hoping that she will learn more words in English and be able to speak English fluently. Unfortunately everytime her Professors discuss a lesson, she would have nose bleed. And everytime her Professor would assign her to conduct a report, she always ends up staring blankly at the class and utter the word "Definitely" repeatedly without end while her nose bleeds! This made her shift from English to taking up Math as her Major. But that wasn't very successful either. So she also tried Science, History, Music, Arts, and Physical Education but none were successful! Finally she took up Values Education as her Major and she finally graduated after 10 long years! Thanks to her father's money and influence - I mean, help!

After Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto graduated from College with a Degree in Bachelor of Secondary Education Major in Values, Her father decided to let her live in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City. Her father, being rich and influential was able to buy a property in 10th Avenue Cubao Quezon City and was able to put up a school which he named: St. John's Academy! Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was first appointed - by her father - as Teacher Aide to the Nursery Class. Her job was to erase the writing on the board, clean up the mess of the Nursery Students, play with the Nursery Students during PE, and lead the singing of "Good bye my Teacher, Good bye" before Class Dismissal! After 10 days, Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was appointed - by the father - as the School Principal.

Her father, knowing that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto was not very sharp and may find her new job really difficult, decided to hire a tutor! The said tutor was to assist Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto in her job as the School Principal. Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's tutor though was strictly instructed by Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father to never show up to anybody! It was agreed that the tutor should be unseen, unnoticed, and unknown! The tutor should make sure that it would only be Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto or Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's father who would see her. If it was impossible for the tutor to be unseen and that Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto needs help, the tutor should disguise herself first before showing up to assist Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto. She should disguise herself either as: a Pizza Delivery Boy, an Afgan Woman wearing Burka, a Colorfully Costumed Clown, a Black bat, an Albino Cat, a Green House Snake, a Beach Ball, a Picture Frame, an Artificial Flower or a Shadow! The tutor agreed to the conditions because after all, she will be paid big cash! By the way, the name of Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto's tutor is: Mrs. Lucy Fernan!

Now if you are a Grown-Up who has grown increasingly agitated at all the characters that I've been introducing and seeing that I have not actually made true of the promise that I made on last sentence of the second to the last paragraph of the episode entitled: The Contemptible Classmate, then I guess I have to try to understand you more and forgive you. Afterall, Patience - to some Grown-Up - do grow thin as one ages.

Anyway, to fulfill that promise and since I have already introduced to you The Brightest School Principal in the Entire World and its nearby Galaxy named Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto who in actual fact fits the title The Pinheaded Principal more, allow me now to tell you about the Canteen Incident.

If you may recall, it was Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal who ordered Elsa to be a Canteen Assistant for a week as punishment for being wrongly accused of possessing a leakage during exams. This is the third of 3 punishments! The first is that Elsa was disallowed to take the exam. The second is that she was asked to walk around the campus while holding a placard saying: " I am a Cheater! Do not imitate me! "

Now, being the person responsible for Elsa performing Canteen Assistant task, I could say that it is Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal's fault why Elsa suffered yet again in the hands of Ely Rose Apple - the Brattish Bully!

Picking up from where I ended from the episode entitled: The Brattish Bully, Elsa was made to wash dishes, fetch water, chop woods, clean the dining area, and serve foods to students during lunch for one week! Elsa must perform the said punishment from start of class until dismissal time! This means that Elsa was not to attend classes. Elsa however, did not feel bad about what she was going through. She just thought that the reason why she was ask to be a Canteen Assistant was for her to develop her talent at serving or helping others who are eating in the canteen!

Elsa was actually thinking about the positive side of the punishment on the 5th and last day when Ely Rose Apple along with the Contemptible Classmates called her to join them in the table. Ely Rose Apple together with Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar were in the school canteen to have lunch! As Elsa approached her classmates, she was ready to follow all the orders of the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates! Elsa was also ready to accept every slap on the face that she may receive. Elsa was ready to swallow all the humiliation that the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates would utter at her. Elsa was ready with the worst!

But Elsa was surprised at what she heard when she finally reached the table where the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates are sitting in. Elsa could not believe it when Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa, my friend, why don't you sit down and have lunch with us"? Elsa was speechless for 17 seconds! Elsa could not believe what she heard. Elsa became even more shocked when Fritz Noel approached her, held her hands, and brought her near the table. Elsa could not believe it either when Lia Reynalyn made her seat beside her. Elsa was more surprised when Anthony Bob handed her a toy to play with. Elsa was still shocked when Nerissa Janina smiled at her. Elsa was still speechless when Adelaida Floricar said: "Elsa, since you have not attended classes for 5 days already, I will lend you all my lectures so that you could study well. I will also ask our Beloved Teacher to give you make up exams. I'm sure our Beloved Teacher will agree, am I right Josie Jean?" Elsa came back to her senses when Josie Jean said: "Huh? What, Who, Where, When, Why, How?" as a reply to what Adelaida Floricar said!

Elsa was already sitting on the table with the Brattish Bully and the Contemptible Classmates and was still wondering at what was happening when she again heard Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa my ever dearest friend, why don't you order some foods? It's my treat! I see how hard you have worked this week! I want you to feel better." Elsa could not believe what she heard and all that she was able to say was: "Thank you!". Before Elsa could say anything more, Ely Rose Apple has already instructed Nerissa Janina to order foods.

After 8 minutes and 46 seconds, several School Canteen Personnel started coming towards the table with many foods! One School Canteen Personnel looked at Elsa devilishly. But Ely Rose Apple was quick to tell Elsa: "Don't worry. I'll take care of everything!" While the foods are being prepared, Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she was sorry for what has happened and that starting that day she wants them to be friends. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar also want to be friends with her. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she will ask her father to give her a raise in her salary. Ely Rose Apple also told Elsa that she will build her up with their Beloved Teacher so that the Teacher won't be mad at her anymore! Elsa felt very happy! Elsa could not believe her luck! Elsa smiled and thanked God. Elsa happily had lunch with Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar!

After lunch, Ely Rose Apple said: "Elsa, can you please join us later this afternoon in the school playground? Let us play Touch the Body out! I really want to be friends with you." Elsa was adamant at first but when Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar all said in chorus: "Please, Elsa?" The Simple Schoolgirl eventually said: "Okay." Ely Rose Apple with Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar all smiled and patted Elsa at her back.

All seem well when suddenly the bell rang. This means that the students must come back to their classroom. All student except Elsa. Elsa must still stay in the Canteen. Her punishment ends at dismissal. Before Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar left, The Brattsih Bully handed Elsa 3 Five Hundred Peso bill. Ely Rose Apple then said: "Elsa my dear friend, that money will cover everything that we have eaten today. There might be some extra. Keep it for yourself. I wish to see you later this afternoon in the playground, okay?" Elsa smiled and said: "Thank you very much."

After Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar left, Elsa was still speechless. Elsa could not believe what just happened. Elsa was very happy that finally she is friends with Ely Rose Apple, Nerissa Janina, Fritz Noel, Lia Reynalyn, Josie Jean, Anthony Bob, and Adelaida Floricar. Elsa was very excited to meet her new friends in the playground. Elsa was already looking forward for dismissal time when suddenly she thought she heard the Breathless Bestfriend whispering to her. She thought she heard Ivy Violinda Ubesa telling her to: "Look at the money." At first, Elsa ignored the voice. But when the voice became persistent, she scrutinized the money on her hands and was very shocked to see Kris Aquino on the 500 peso bill instead of Ninoy Aquino!

Things happened very fast afterward! Elsa was scolded by the Canteen Manager! The Groveling Guard came and said: "Violation number 6: Estafa"! Then Elsa was slapped 57 times on the face by the Canteen Cashier! Then Elsa was pushed hard on the wall. Then Elsa was beaten. Then Elsa was kicked. Then Elsa was told that she is ugly, stupid, and poor while unwashed plates, spoons, forks, water glasses and pitchers were hurled at her! Just then Glenda or Marissa Soccorro G. Hampto the Pinheaded Principal appeared, approached Elsa and said: "Definitely! Hey you! The only one of you! I want to see your parents tomorrow! Right Now!"

"Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story" - Max Ehrman

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